A Word about YOLO and Finding Yourself

Dear reader,

You only live once. True, or if you believe in reincarnation, true for this very life. But that’s not really what YOLO stands for. YOLO stands for enjoying in pleasure, daring to do things that are prohibited, consuming as much as you can in the shortest time possible. It stands for pleasing yourself and letting yourself enjoy, mostly in things that are somewhat bad for you. Today’s post was inspired by Leo Babauta’s blog about instant gratification (http://zenhabits.net/gratify/) and it pushed me to share another story with you.

YOLO is for example, I want the second piece of that delicious cake. YOLO, just go for it! Sure, why not, one more piece doesn’t count.

I really shouldn’t have another glass of wine, because I won’t remember this evening tomorrow. Come on, do it, YOLO! Sure, yeah.

This bag is just amazing. I want to have it, but cannot afford it. Oh the hell, YOLO, here’s my credit card.

So here I am, a few days after, and the same story happens again. And again. And again. So YOLO in this sense is really LW (life wasted). My liver will suffer. I might have a car accident while driving drunk. The bag is in fact just a thing, really. Just. A. Bag. And my pride? Satisfaction? What’s that again? YOLO, I’ll get me a nice pair of shoes. It’s better to cry when you have a nice pair of shoes to cry in.

Sometimes clients say, they have to take the time off and find themselves. When asked how will they know they have found themselves, one client said that he wouldn’t be so scared. He would be more determined. Would know for sure. Would be confident. Further, when asked what would be the first sign that he found himself, he said he would feel alive. Wouldn’t have to drink so much, because he wouldn’t have to hide from problems. Instead he would be brave enough to face them. Would try to solve them. And that means he would go out and look for opportunities, he would make connections and ask for help, he would act.

And if this were to be happening, what would be different? He said, he would feel more down to earth, yeah, more confident. What else? He would feel less scared, because he would go out and do things. And what else? [long pause] He would feel more like himself.

So by creating himself, he would find himself? He said yes.

How about the YOLO and a temptation to drink again, how will you know you can manage that? Thinking about my liver, my safety and my tomorrow when I will be proud of myself outweigh YOLO. Outweigh the childish behaviour of getting what I want now. NOW! And as much as I can! Instead, being more focused and conscious would help me praise my body. And my confidence. That would be lovely, he said.

YOLO because I want this now to comfort my desire is one thing. YOLO as an insight into my cravings and seeing them as a temporary condition that can pass and it will, is another. YOLO as being here and now and not needing much, because you are actually fine, is third. Which means not looking for yourself, but creating yourself, using reflection, not things.

This was a short version of a transcribed session with the client’s permission.

Dear reader, I’ll be away for a while, because I’ll be at EBTA conference. Will be with you in my thoughts though. PS. I still need you to keep you fingers crossed for the big news.

This chap has it difficult finding himself (picture borrowed from https://www.facebook.com/PlantBasedOnABudget?fref=ts).

This chap had it difficult to find whatever he was looking for (picture borrowed from https://www.facebook.com/PlantBasedOnABudget?fref=ts – a page, I’m really a fan of).

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