How Solution Focused Approach Changed My Life

Dear reader,

just finished a Skype session with a rather long term client (seeing her over 2 years), who likes to check in once in a while to see whether she’s still “on track”. She is also interested to learn how to use Solution Focused Approach in her own line of work, but since she’s from another continent, she won’t be able to make it to our Slovenian Solution Focused Training. By the way – hurry, early bird registrations will close tomorrow, so make sure you’ve secured your place!

She stated that the main reason she wanted to learn SF (Solution Focused) was, because she had noticed how different my life became, since I encountered this approach. And she would like to make a similar difference in and for her life. I wouldn’t pay much attention to her words personally (of course professionally yes), if it weren’t that same morning, that a friend wrote to me on Facebook how much she appreciates my work and what an inspiration I am for others, especially younger ones, who are at the beginning of their professional career paths.

Maybe I can point out some benefits on how Solution Focused approach changed me, my life and those around me. I want nothing but the best for you, so maybe you might find this useful and can make Solution Focused approach work for you as well:

  • I’m not afraid. Action kills fear. If I’m unsure into something, I do it anyway. Before I was always scared what would happen if things go wrong. I had to make sure it was a “perfect moment”. Often that moment never came and I gave up before doing anything.
  • I travel. I’ve travelled round the Globe, but not as a tourist. I travel to learn, to explore, to expand, to increase tolerance and acceptance of diversity. See the post about a fierce journey for example.
  • I’m no longer setting goals. Goals don’t work. Instead I’m looking for signs. And since that changed, I managed to put together quite some pieces of work, like the Ribalon Institute, my first international scientific article and an EU project.
  • I’m not alone. I belong to a strong international network of professionals who help me grow. I’ve got the world’s best supervisors. Amazing partners, intervision coaches and worldwide friends. I’m not scared to ask for support. And I’m not reluctant to offer some if needed.
  • I’ve learned how to say NO. Managed to say goodbye to (fortunately very few) toxic people. I don’t tolerate disrespect and oppression. Also, I don’t tolerate gossip. Have much more important things to do.
  • I can change others. Until now, probably I’ve had like 500 workshops or trainings. Sometimes my contractors say I have to deal with a conflict/uncooperative/unmotivated group/individual. Never ever have I had a problem to inspire them.
  • My work matters. I see clients who say they’ve really messed up. I’ve worked with clients thinking about suicide, clients who were struggling with eating disorders, anxiety, depression, I’ve worked with parents who had “unbearable” teenagers. I worked with many many young people who were stuck and wanted to quit. Some might say I’m not qualified to solve their problems. They are right. I’m not quailfied – but the clients are! Also, I’m not solving their problems – they are!
  • I’m genuinely happy. It’s not a state of euphory that goes up and down. It’s a constant state of integrity, joy and passion to do what I like to do, what I’m good at and what matters to others. Plus, I am surrounded by people who take my energy and give it back.
  • I want to pay it forward. This was the main call that got us into organizing this very first SLOVEnian SF training. Because I want to offer an opportunity to others to have a possible life changing experience. Who knows – sometimes a word said at a right time, can change someone’s life forever. I hope I’m spreading good words.

Though Solution Focused approach might not be responsible or triggering all of the above, I know that if I wouldn’t come accross it, my life would be a life from someone I used to be and am not anymore. People change. Be the change you want to see, Gandhi said. Wise man.

Biba

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Your life. Your choice.

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