I am 32 years old. I don’t think I can be influenced that easily anymore. I know what my priorities, strengths and weaknesses are. And I’m confident in my knowledge, skills and abilities.
At least I thought so, until quite recently.
Since we had our first Diploma workshop in September in London, I feel like a beginner again. That workshop left me blank, shaken and wondering whether I know anything at all. It was not at all a pleasant experience and I needed quite some time to reflect upon what happened and to find ways forward.
The October was somehow much better, yet I am still very vague about the certainty, clarity and direction where I ought to be moving towards. Then I had a talk … to someone who knows me well, who is close, wants me to succeed and believes I will succeed. He said he was pleased to witness what I was going through. Because he’d be worried if I weren’t. He said:
If you would right now be saying you know everything and are 100% confident in what you are doing, that would be a sign you are not learning. And if you are not learning, you won’t be able to grow. Those who are certain they know everything, are on the right track into regression.
So I am grateful. I do not believe in having absolute confidence, or the highest/brightest self esteem and self image, because that will come in the way of your learning. Being too satisfied with yourself and too proud will only sustain what you already know and will not introduce anything new. Which might not be a bad thing at all, but it will not bring any outstanding breakthroughs, but merely repeat the old habits.
A beginner’s mind opens up possibilities. An expert mind closes it.
Have a nice Sunday and a toast to all the shy people who struggle with confidence and not being certain. It might be a great sign that you are open to learning!