some of you have been with me since the beginning of this page (2014) and some of you have been a huge or a small part of this journey over the past seven years. A while ago, way before the pandemics, I was sat at a hairdresser’s, kept there way longer than I was willing to and served by a woman that was too talkative for my taste but she changed the way I view the time and purpose of life since this strange encounter.
As is often the case with hairdressers, they are far better therapists than us. And also great conversation makers. She told me everything about her family, her being in London, her past, present and future. A part of the story was about her grandfather who used to be very close to her when she was little, back in Greece. He was a jolly kind and very popular man, but much trouble to his wife, as nobody really knew how many children he had and how many women with. As such, female village counterparts were pretty cross with the bloke, but somehow my hairdresser, back then a little girl and him formed a bond for life. And one day she asked him: “Grandpa, so many people are cross with you and unhappy with how you are, so many people love you, so many people want you beside and also lots of people want to see you dead – why don’t you live more like they want you to? Why are you this way, so … free and careless?” And his answer was impressive. He said: “Kiddo, I am only here on a tourist visa. This visa will one day expire. I am not here to waste any of my time, nor to postpone what I want to do and how much love I want to give to later, because I am not sure when the expiry date will be. So my stay here is very temporary and I want to fully embrace it. Remember kiddo, this is not a permanent residence we’ve been granted, it’s merely a tourist visa.” Oddly, he died when he was 101 so his visa had quite a long duration and at present, there’s a legend circulating about him as the man who lived fully, but as if he was going to die anytime. At his funeral thousands cried and one of his grandchildren started an organisation helping young people find their purpose in life and place in this world.
We drag so much stuff around with us as we go about living in this world. Things we think we need, insurance policies we are hoping to protect us from the future, luggage and double packed items that are “just in case”, people and relationships that are not right for us but we still keep them “in case they change” and so on. And all this stuff paradoxically only enhances our sense of vulnerability – the more we drag around, the more vulnerable we feel. And the older we get, the less we dare and the safer we play.
A long time ago I wrote a post on not letting go, but instead letting in. And throughout this journey, I have been deliberately focusing on this – letting new things in and allowing for them to work their magic, instead of putting focus on trying to eliminate, get rid of or let go of the things that were not serving, supporting or useful anymore. This required a lot of trust in things working out and not getting in the way by trying to work too hard to work them out. And here I am now, seven years later, in another country, doing things I love, being able to love and be loved. And soon, I will be entering a different stage of life, where my life path and visa will be shared for a while, who knows how long and to what extent, but hoping it would be long enough sharing it with a man that has been everything I ever hoped for in every aspect, so much so it’s sometimes hard to believe it’s real. As it’s sometimes hard to believe that my life path and journey would ever include welcoming a little girl into this world. I am very much hoping that her arrival and start to life will be in a way that she’ll be able to enjoy her family and soon into a life where hopefully, she will be able to create a life experience for herself that she and those around her would be pleased with.
Welcome to my world little baby girl, a world that is no longer mine but expanded and shared with your dad. Thank you for giving us both a chance to become a family and to experience joys of having you and each other. I am of course terrified you’re a girl, because if you’ll be anything like I was in my teenage years, only universe can help me understanding and supporting you, but I am looking forward to it nonetheless. Hope you will always know that your mum can kick ass when needs be so you can have an example of a woman who is standing tall in flip flops in this world and is not afraid of anything, but also one that has her embrace open for you to come to, even or especially when you won’t feel like.
We can’t wait to meet you. And for you, dear reader, I can’t wait to see where the next blog will come from – what time, what state, what content. It might be a while before it happens and perhaps you might no longer be interested in it – a sign that our paths are not crossing anymore. Or you might start sharing it more closely and see something in it that could be of use for you. In either case, I am pleased you are here, sharing your tourist visa and hoping that your stay here is full of life in all it has to offer in a way that is right for you.