Dear Ribalon,you don’t know me and I don’t know you. But somehow I feel like I’ve known you forever. I’ve been quite miserable for quite some time. In 2012 I’ve had a car accident. I was in a car with my boyfriend at the time and his sister. We were going home from a concert. He was driving and I don’t remember much, because it was night and we were sleeping – the last thing I remember is him covering me with his jacket so I wouldn’t get cold. The next thing I woke up in the hospital from a coma a few days later. I won’t bother you with details. However in just one night, I’ve lost the love of my life and my own identity. I ended up in a wheelchair. Couldn’t find any reason to live anymore. Nothing made sense. I was nobody, I had nobody. I didn’t know neither who I was, nor who I am supposed to be now. And why. So I stopped attending my university, all I did was browsing the internet and playing some sagas on my ipad. I secretly wished my life was over and I blamed my boyfriend for leaving without me. I blamed myself for letting him drive. I blamed the singer for performing that night. I blamed my parents for having me.Then one day I found your blog. Your logo caught my attention, because it’s so childlike. It was in October 2014 and I was just typing in some keywords about coaching and stuff. Your posts at first didn’t mean much, but they were somehow interesting and somewhat cosy to read, because you were only inviting your reader to join, but never imposed your preaching. And you felt so close, not at all high or perfect and I liked that. I perceived your blog as a silent invitation to life.It’s more than one year since. So I thought I’ll let you know what happened because of, or by following your blog.I am still struggling to figure out what to do and how to adjust to my new situation and my new identity. But I went back to the university. I know it’s not my fault things happened the way they did. And I suppose me staying alive had some underlying reason. And I should make some sense of it. Though it’s still very hard and it hurts me even thinking about it, let alone writing about it, I know I have to stop hiding. And your kind posts helped me do that, step by step.I realize you didn’t and couldn’t know that. However for me it was like this little light bulb, telling me I’ll be ok. I’m not ok yet. But I have hopes I might get there one day. I simply want to thank you for this and I hope to meet you one day to tell you that personally. Please let me know if you’ll ever host a workshop in XXX, because I’ll surely be your no.1 participant. But you’ll have to find a place that is wheelchair accessible.I hope this message finds you well and sorry for its length.Sincerely,XXX
Although it’s summer holidays and not much going on, I have several new clients coming in. With one we talked about our need to be recognized in this world, our need to belong somewhere and a need to matter something to someone. She wanted to express herself for who she really is, but was afraid that the environment might not like and accept that. Yet only if she would find the courage to express herself, she could truly live.
She taught me something special. She said she would like to start a blog, upload some videos, write music and scripts. Would like to be authentic, which would be the only way for her to feel alive. Then she shared an amazing thought. She said that being authentic means that you share some of your vulnerability with a wider audience, you open your heart to complete strangers and offer them opportunity to hurt you, hoping they won’t. And by sharing your stories and experience, you can help others who struggle with same issues as you are. She’s a true artist.
She made me think about my blog. Though it is not intended to be personal in the first place, it is. Though its aim is to share stories about Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, it’s my story, values, beliefs, fears, failures and wins that are behind. And as I went through my client’s words again, I figured she’s right. She already shows integrity by wanting to share herself with the world without putting a mask on and that’s actually huge.
She taught me something important and I’d like to share it with you. When you write a blog, eventually you can offer your audience one single message they can take with them, as your present posts become a past:
No matter what, change is inevitable.
You are not alone.
And IT DOES GET BETTER.
it’s one year since the very first post on this blog.
I’m happy. There seem to be over 1600 readers from over 35 countries and that certainly is a sign that this blog has something people like to follow.
When I published the previous post about expectations, regret and disappointment, something unexpected happened. There were messages in my mailbox, sending best wishes and encouraging words. Some of you who are close to me (but far geographically) even made efforts to see me on skype and make sure I was doing okay. And I really appreciated your care. But one message especially made a huge difference. It was from a girl I saw only once and have never heard from again. She’s been in one of my workshops and then appointed a private session to which she later on didn’t come. I thought she changed her mind or didn’t want to come for whatever good reason. She wrote in her message that because of our conversation after the workshop, she felt like someone or something has touched her from within and placed her in an entirely new place, a fresh start and opened up in front of her a brand new day. She wrote further about all the changes she has made in her life after the workshop and indeed she had travelled a remarkable journey. The steps she had taken were beyond baby steps. And she said that my workshop got her to kick off. And that I should keep going, because my work matters.
So I guess I have no choice. This is the best gift I could possibly get for this page’s anniversary. And here’s some news. My husband and I decided it is no use to wait for a perfect time to come, because the time to start is right now and the place to start is right here. There will soon be workshops and events going on in our town as well. We have a plan and you will all be invited to join! Opportunities to act are everywhere, if only you are ready to look for it. Same is with love. Even though it might sometimes look like there is only violence and hate in this world. Think again and take the below picture as a proof.