Tag Archives: change

Untrain yourself and start becoming friends with your body

Dear reader,

previous blog post “Were You Trained to Hate Your Body?” has prompted this. In my line of work, I have never met a woman or a man who would not have at least one issue, struggle or cause for embarrassment about the way how their body looked, behaved or their habits around it. And yet I believe, with some time and motivation, we can un-train ourselves and find a way forward to becoming at peace or even friends with our bodies. So I have created this online training programme for all of us who would like to break this cycle of self-hate and turn it into something worthwhile.

Your past does not have to mess up with your future. Your past failures can be made into your future successes.

This online training will consist of five separate online videos, which you will receive every week to your mailboxes. The videos will tackle different aspects of our being and performance and will also offer you exercises which you can do alone or together with someone you trust.

The second part of the training will be individual sessions. In these conversations we will be focusing on the outcomes specially tailored to you and your hopes. Each participant will have an opportunity for two individual sessions.

FOR WHOM?

Anyone who can in some way relate to this blog post.

HOW LONG?

Whenever you feel ready to register and lasting for 5 weeks.

HOW MUCH TIME SHOULD I DEVOTE AND HOW WILL WE WORK?

As much time as you want. The video sessions will be sent directly to your email address, after you register for this training. Then it is up to you how fast you go. There will be five slots, one per week. As for individual conversations, we will together look out for a time which suits us both and meet online, so you can enjoy our conversation from your own couch! The videos will be in English, as the training is designed for international audience. Individual sessions can be done in other languages of your preference (Slovenian or other Southern Slavic language, German or Spanish).

GREAT! HOW DO I JOIN?

You can register through this online form. There is a symbolic participation fee of 50£, which includes all the videos, individual sessions and support through the training, so that really everybody can join. After registering you will receive an email with logistic and payment details.

QUESTIONS?

Here for you to answer.

I created this training because I believe in its usefulness. And I believe in the importance of this topic. As it is not a part of Ribalon’s regular trainings, we’ll only take up to 10 people on a first come, first serve basis. 

I am so hopeful because you reacted. Together we can shape a better future, starting with ourselves.

Biba

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La Dolce Vita. Why not?

 

 

New Start, New Services

Dear reader,

it is said that the darkest hour is right before the sunrise. Yesterday I told you about my “Blues” and ways forward. Today is a brand new day.

For quite some time now, I’m noticing I’ve come a long way from being a beginner in Solution Focused Approach. My supervisors also agree that I’ve reached a point where I can really pursue meaningful and useful conversations that create a context within which the clients are quickly able to find their own solutions that last.

Since I’ve grown from voluntary services and community work, it took me a long time to acknowledge I am not a volunteer anymore who helps others because she likes to do it and it’s the right thing to do. After more than 8 years of such work, my identity has changed. I’m now an established skilled professional who has made a lot of efforts to build up the knowledge, develop the right skills and enjoy the privilege to have such a strong international background. My work is not just pleasure. It brings results. Having said that, of course it makes a difference. I’m getting more and more requests to do Solution Focused work and lately, I’m also working within business settings with organizations. I’m beginning to receive more requests than I am able to process, so I had to make a choice: whether to go broad and do more quantitative work, or narrow my target group and do more qualitative work. I chose the latter.

After consultation with my UK partners, we’ve shaped a selection of new services you can enjoy and benefit from. Also our prices have gone up, because we have limited the number of clients and we believe our work has a value that is supported by evidence as well as client’s testimonials (there is a nice proverb that says if you want cheap services, hire an amateur, but eventually you will see this is really expensive). Still we have kept our research programmes, that enable those who have it difficult paying, to join as well.

So once again, I have followed my integral principle that “less is more”. Meaning I want to do good quality work, tailored to clients preferences and driven by client’s contents. Solution Focused Approach has for decades been proven to be highly effective approach in complex situations that helps individuals, teams, groups or organizations move forward. But talking about Solution Focused is very different to doing Solution Focused. Having delivered an entire Solution Focused Training, loads of work with clients and my supervisor’s opinion has recently confirmed I’m really doing pure Solution Focused work and I’m doing it well. Which means my clients experience high quality service that enables them move forward in their lives.

If you consider making desired changes, let go of bad habits, or you have found yourself (or your team) in a situation that seems to be too demanding for your current capabilities (such as implementing or designing a new strategy, facing complex changes, having performance challenges, work overload, etc.) or you simply follow this blog and would like to learn how to ask yourself the right questions, you are very welcome to benefit from sessions and save your time, energy (and money). You can find the options how to participate, collaborate and engage on the renewed page here or in Slovenian language here. Also, if you are keen to learn how to do Solution Focused work yourself and are from Slovenia, check the training programmes here.

I’m very happy to assist you with methodology that works to enable you become the best version you can possibly be and to be there while you make progress.

Biba

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I suck at saying goodbye: EBTA 2015

Ask, and you will be answered. Step out and you will be noticed. Do good things and good things will come back.

This is a message from this year’s annual European Brief Therapy Association Conference that was held in Vienna from 11th till 13th September. I was sent there with support from my English institution and my main supervisor. Just a couple of days prior to the conference I got an email from my Hungarian friends and coaches, inviting me to join a workshop on team coaching straight after the conference with one of the best coaches from Switzerland and Hungary. I was delighted and excited about both of these events and had it hard waiting to start.

My dear reader, which is your preferable: to be surprised or to make others surprised?

If I have to choose, I like the latter better. I love doing something for my significant others and enjoy planning it, keeping it a secret and at last, surprise them. It might be a small thing, or a big one, doesn’t matter, I quietly scream out of joy when I feel the passion that drags me to do it. So I dug up that my supervisor (and a dear friend) has birthday right after the conference. Since he’s a really modest and quiet man, but with a great mind, he didn’t say anything. We organized him a small surprise party and made a photo album for him. Though I had no idea what and how it will happen, the end has been what we hoped it would be: warm, supportive, loveable, friendly. Others who are close to him joined in this surprise and together we were able to do it just right. Happy bday C.!

Apart from this, I offered to give an open space at the conference. The proposed topic was transferring Solution Focused knowledge to the next generation. In case you are not familiar with open space, it is a very useful setting when you want to use the potential and creativity of your attendees. I use it all the time in my workshops and trainings. It has four principles and one law. The four principles go as follows:

  1. Whoever comes are the right people.
  2. Whatever happens is the only thing that could have happen.
  3. Whenever it starts is the right time.
  4. When it’s over, it’s over.

Additionally, there is the law of two feet, which means that if for any reason you feel you can’t contribute to the group of don’t get enough from it, use your two feet if you have them and go someplace else.

So I had my open space. Surprisingly many people came. I asked them to place on an imaginary scale to see where we are in terms of experience. It turned out the situation was about 50-50. I was amazed about how much willingness there was to offer support whenever and wherever needed and how it was a precious experience for both groups – they could both learn from each other! From this open space and talk over dinner, I am proudly to present my additional supervisor and many international partners. I’ll soon open another subpage and list their names and organizations, so that you can look them up if you’d like to see how big the international dimension is. Ribalon is growing!

One thing I’m not really proud of, but do it regularly, is that I always leave without notice. It’s a strange habit, because I’m really lousy at saying goodbye. So I left the conference without saying goodbye to anyone. In this manner, I believe, we are still somehow connected and when we meet again, it will be as if we never parted. So please forgive me my dear SF friends if I didn’t say goodbye – I never do. And it was not just rude to you – I do it to everybody. But now I miss you all …

Since Wednesday I’m back home. Vienna and Budapest have left a remarkable footprint. Apart from professional development, I’ve noticed one small thing that is different now. I’ve become much nicer to random people. Before I was reserved or didn’t pay much attention, but now I’ve become nicer and helpful to complete strangers. Simply because why not to be nice. And this makes a HUGE difference. Suddenly people around me have changed. Just today, as I went to the supermarket, a guy hit my car on the parking. My reaction was kind. I surprised myself totally. And like it a lot lot. A lot! My car might disapprove.

So let’s see where the road continues to lead us. Next Wednesday I’ll have a workshop in my hometown. I’m really curious about how the group will react within this new habit and setting … 🙂

knitting

One more thing I suck at, here’s my first go of knitting at the EBTA conference workshop. Wonderful instructors and facilitators though!

I am vulnerable

Dear reader,

Although it’s summer holidays and not much going on, I have several new clients coming in. With one we talked about our need to be recognized in this world, our need to belong somewhere and a need to matter something to someone. She wanted to express herself for who she really is, but was afraid that the environment might not like and accept that. Yet only if she would find the courage to express herself, she could truly live.

She taught me something special. She said she would like to start a blog, upload some videos, write music and scripts. Would like to be authentic, which would be the only way for her to feel alive. Then she shared an amazing thought. She said that being authentic means that you share some of your vulnerability with a wider audience, you open your heart to complete strangers and offer them opportunity to hurt you, hoping they won’t. And by sharing your stories and experience, you can help others who struggle with same issues as you are. She’s a true artist.

She made me think about my blog. Though it is not intended to be personal in the first place, it is. Though its aim is to share stories about Solution-Focused Brief Therapy, it’s my story, values, beliefs, fears, failures and wins that are behind. And as I went through my client’s words again, I figured she’s right. She already shows integrity by wanting to share herself with the world without putting a mask on and that’s actually huge.

She taught me something important and I’d like to share it with you. When you write a blog, eventually you can offer your audience one single message they can take with them, as your present posts become a past:

No matter what, change is inevitable.

You are not alone.

And IT DOES GET BETTER.

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Able to show your dirty feet?

Climbing Up the Stairs!

Dear reader,

Autumn here. Officially no more sun. Which is good, because all of the “it’s such a beautiful day outside so let’s not waste it typing” excuses sound less persuasive.

I’ve been working really hard lately. Had to prepare the questionnaires and detalied survey design for the interview part for my dissertation. Also had many sessions with various clients. But most of all, we’ve officially started the Solution Focused Brief Coaching at my faculty. So now my dear readers, it’s time to go full time!

SF coaching is designed in collaboration with the tutorship system at the faculty and the psychological counselling service. It is primarily intended for students, regardless the study cycle or department, but can be applied to other situations and offered to other groups if expressed interest.

Since I’ve had quite some number of clients so far, I’m confident about the effects. However till now I didn’t measure the outcomes other than what my clients told me. With SF coaching I’ll rigorously start to monitor progress and measure the effects so at the end of the academic year we could discuss the overall results. By that I mean the effects the coaching had on student’s situation as well as my performance over time.

This post was just a quick note to let you know about the upcoming changes and also invite you to join. I’ve created a separate page about how you can do that here.

Wish you all a pleasant autumn. Funny, at this very moment there’s sunshine outside, despite a rather bad weather forecast for today. Maybe a sign not to get too serious?

P.S. Still no news from the BIG news. So keep your fingers crossed a bit longer if you can 🙂