Tag Archives: erasmus +

I’d rather not be right

Dear reader,

just finished another group training, this time young volunteers from different EU and some non-EU countries doing their voluntary projects in Slovenia. We spent five days together, working from 9.30am till 7pm with only a few breaks in-between.

Being young nowadays isn’t easy. Making choices, deciding what to do with/in your life, deciding to dedicate some of your time to do volunteering work, isn’t easy. Then add that it is happening in a foreign country, away from home, loved ones, on a tight budget and without a clear picture of what’s ahead, and you come down to one word: unknown.

I’ve done quite some numbers of similar youth group trainings. And have been a participant in a few myself. As trainers, we’d often have high expectations, presuppositions about the participants as well as theories of who’s in the group and why do they behave the way they do.

For instance, there are always stereotypes about different nationalities. Then there are social stereotypes about young people being spoiled, unmotivated, waiting to be served, not proactive, etc., etc. With such assumptions it’s always clever to figure out who’s the group making those claims. It is almost never the group about which the assumption is about. Funny, isn’t it?

So it happens that people in the group do not follow instructions. Object. Or ask the same things that have just been explained the session earlier. They do not show up on time. They complain about things not being right, yet do not offer how to make them right. And so on. I’m sure you know what I mean.

What each group teaches (reminds) me is that I never want to be “right” again. Even when I might have an assumption, I’d never want to argue or not repeat the instructions again and again and again or be kind even when others aren’t or be patient when someone might not be. What I remember was the most important for me in another country, among people I didn’t know, language I wasn’t fluent in, etc., was not people who were smart about how things should be or would be right about what I should have done. It was people who were kind and there for me, especially when I was clumsy and made mistakes. Who were willing to help me out without me feeling that I should “know this” or that “I’m stupid”. This is probably what mothers are like towards their children. They’d never assume the child will not make it and they are not forcing them to “get it” faster or would not be fed up with them not showing immediate progress. It’s what a gardener might feel when planting the seeds. They need whole lot of water, warmth, sunshine and care, before they can bloom.

Groups are inspiring, but can also be stressful. Lots of people together, lots of persuasion, dominance, cooperation, competition, comparison, manipulation even. Lots of fighting about whose opinion matters more and who is right or wrong. Fighting to have a say. To be the leader. Or to hide, to detach oneself from the group or to lose interest because it is going too slow or too fast. Again, not easy. As a trainer, it is important to capture this and try giving space so that each individual in the group can feel welcomed, encouraged and to find their unique place in the group. And in order to make that possible, one has to do away with our own fight, ego and being viewed as an expert, even when in trainer’s role. One has to give the expertise to the group and before this, offer the group space so that they recognise they (can) own it. And when they do, this is what group work is all about. The essence of human existence and connectedness. And I love it, every single time and with every single training I’m privileged to be a part of.

So I never want to be right again.

Thank you Slovenian National Agency for having me as your trainer again and thank you dear participants and my co-trainer to make it a unique and enjoyable event. Best of luck and hope to he

Biba

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Our participants. Quite inspiring, isn’t it?

Coaching for Change finished: a difference that made a difference

Dear reader,

yesterday we submitted the final report for our international project Coaching for Change.

Sometimes people say “Yeah these international projects are fun and cool, but they do not really make any difference, nor do they have any lasting effects”. I suppose people having these thoughts speak from experience and I would not dare to argue with them. And I want to share with you that our project does not fit that basket.

It has been nearly 9 months since our Training Course in Frankolovo, Slovenia, where 28 people lived and worked closely together and by the end of the course, practiced Solution Focused Coaching conversations smoothly and independently. In these 9 months many things happened: people change locations, change jobs, change professions … move on with their lives. And for some reason, we stayed in touch with each and every one of our participants. I think the reason behind this has to do with us writing the project together.

As I was putting the contents together for our report for the National Agency and European Commission and as I was editing the videos we made during our sessions, I felt such gratitude. What we have done was much more than just another training course. What we started then, was a milestone: we started a new movement. Being a part of this makes me humble and emotional, as it is such a gem when one has a possibility to not only participate, but initiate something as big.

So I would like to share some of the feedback our participants shared. Let their voice speak on our behalf.

Many changes and news in my life. First of all after hard and stressful months I’ve tried the test for a very particular course at the university of Milan and I’m in. I still couldn’t believe it, only 80 seats it’s an economics course with service profile in collaboration with the tourism and social Chamber of Milan. I think in it I could express my passion for practice mathematics and at the same time my love to help the other… and after let’s see what the life is going to offer me. In those months I’ve used a lot what I learnt at the course especially for myself… I realised that so often my way of thinking and see the situation is completely changed with SF. I haven’t used it in professional field, I would not be able but with the kids I look after at the centre, or also in conversation with friends It’s helped me a lot. And I would like to go deeper with coaching because it’s something that I really feel in myself.

I’m writing a field diary with conclusions and reflections for my jobs and I’m having sparkling moments! Now I’m more aware of what we learnt thanks a lot for all., I’m more focused on adults and I do approach them with SF questions. SF training was really interesting and useful for me to improve as a professional and share the informations whit my job partners – those with whom I work more directly. I would really like to participate in an advanced training because it is useful for me as a career counsellor. and to share the knowledge with my team.

I have used the skills in situations, but i did not have intensive changing sessions, it was more used in taking steps to achieve some result. I would love to join an advanced course! I switched workplaces though. Im now working for an organisation supporting youth houses! I am using SF questions, but not in the way we learned it.. i recognise the fact that i implement the theory of solutions focused, but more in groups and not so much for changing behaviour, but changing views.

I am in my last year of my Master’s study, meaning I have been fully occupied writing the thesis. I noticed that during writing and talking to my other colleagues I used some of the SF questions we learned and I tried to break the complaining culture. My colleagues have noticed this and when I was not doing it they asked me to “ask some of your questions, because they are really useful!”. So I have in a way coached our entire class!

The project had a great impact on me and I believe also on what I do and on the people around me. Since the moment I came back I tend to focus on the positive things that happens to me and basically I feel like I am living a more fulfilling life. I truly believe that it s the point of view I had on the things and not the things themselves to make me sad sometimes. This thoughts I have are supported by some moments I lived during the course. When I think to them again I feel empowered and sometimes I find new elements of reflection. One of them is when we had to work in groups and write on a big piece of paper what was solution focused for us? When our group came up with that drawing with many lines with different colors… I don’t know if you remember, but it was extremely powerful for me. I used some of the questions with people around me and I had surprised reactions, like I was asking an unexpected question, but always interesting answers. I truly believe I helped some people tho see other sides of the same reality, myself first.

I tend not to give advice and to accept that the solution with which some people come up with can be a good one for them even if it doesn’t make any sense for me. Maybe there is no order in what I wrote, it was out of enthusiasm . By the way, when I come back I decided to change university and degree. Instead of going on with philosophy, after I graduated I took up a master degree in development and management of human resources and I find it great. I really hope you keep on doing what you are doing because that project was great for me. I will be organising a brainstorming afternoon for a group of 20 people and I would really like to have a process with them, before the brainstorming, to create an atmosphere of positivity/solution focus/no criticism and I want to teach them the SF mindset.

I am more self confident about myself. Training course was a moment to stop, reflect and make an inner turn. I would say I got more independent and self trusting myself in personal and professional life. It gave self confidence to develop constellation as an approach in my profession. The most useful moment was when we shared our future plans and our team members gave the feedback . Now when I look back almost one year ago, I have reached exactly what I wrote and the comments responds to way it happened. So it was a good bread for the road. As well it was my first meeting with Slovenia. A beautiful meeting to fall in love with this country.

I’m using the knowledge I gained thanks to you, almost every day. In my personal life I started to look for my resources in a more conscious way and focus on what I’m grateful for. In my work I started to give much more positive feedback and I use the SF questions in a lot of situation. For example when I start it finish a training or during debriefing an activity. It works really well. Thank you all!

No more words are needed, right?

So if you would like an insight into some of our sessions, have a peek into my YouTube channel and witness the brilliance of our participants.

Coaching for Change videos

Let us continue what we started. If you would like to join, let us know 🙂

Your trainer’s team

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Your trainer’s team

European Breakthrough: Coaching for Change completed

Dear reader,

It’s a week since we have finished our 10-day intense international training course in Solution Focused Coaching for youth workers working with disadvantaged young people.

Already a week passed and I’m still not catching up with what has just happened.

The training course brought alltogether 31 people from 11 different EU countries. I’ve worked with many groups before and have had many trainings behind me, however this group was something special. It was pure heaven.

The outline of our training was quite daring and demanding – not everyone is able to spend 10 or more days out in the wild, without shops, sleeping in a barn with about 25 other complete strangers, without a drop of alcohol and with an agenda of working whole day long from 7.30AM until 18.30PM. Further, we designed the training programme in a way that our participants first experience Solution Focused in action, before actually giving it a name and explanation. This has caused some frustration and confusion at first, as the group was shaken and irritated. But we did not want to provide the answers up front. We wanted them to discover it themselves. However we could not anticipate the story would unfold like this.

We were lucky. The group managed splendidly. They learned. Fast, incredibly fast. The level of energy did not drop throughout the whole training. They wanted more and they self organized in order to get more from us. It was a huge privilege to work with such a group and to see it’s caterpillars turning into butterflies, one by one.

At the end of the course I was extremely proud. Proud to have created an atmosphere for such intense learning. Proud to have been able to witness the group and individual’s progress. And grateful for this opportunity to bring Solution Focused training to the target group that would otherwise never experience it.

I think this training course is an important milestone. I learned so much. About the group’s dynamics, about Solution Focused Approach, about myself as a trainer and myself as a coordinator. The project isn’t over yet, just it’s main activity has ended. We have much more work to do to track and monitor progress and to prepare a short video about it. Since it’s start back in December 2015, the project has changed a lot. Also the crew has changed. We kicked off with seven facilitators and now we are three in the end. And those three will take the project further. It was a huge gamble and risk bringing together new people, new partners as well as a new training design. However for some reason, not many things went wrong. There were some lessons, as I learned to choose people to work with really carefully and we learned more about what works and what doesn’t. But the bottom line was that the only complaint we received was that people were getting fat. A justified complaint I should say, so compliments to our cooks!

I also learned so much from my colleague trainers and from our dear participants, and am really looking forward to our future projects. Not sure yet what they might be. Maybe Coaching for Change 2?

Dear Betül, Mounir, Natalie, Gaya, Moonika, Madli, Bori, Bence, David, Anna, Pompei, Foued, Sofia, Dejvi, Lauma, Giovanni, Tim, Kamila, Paulina, Maja, Tina, Tinka, Denis, Aixa, Silvia,  Ella, thank you so much for being able to get to know you better and to be a small part of your learning journey!

Naomi, Giulia, Raúl, Bea, Hannes, Finn, thank you for your support throughout the project and for your future ideas and inputs!

Matjaž, Mojca, Jana, Romana thank you for your logistic and tehcnical support!

Leah and Árpi, thank you for making this training excellent, outstanding and what it was – a miracle in action! I’m honoured to be your co-trainer and am looking forward to more!

Biba

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Click here for more pictures.

Coaching for Change – our dream came true!

Dear reader,
our dream came true. Remember the post about our EU project? It’s become a reality. We managed to be successful in the second round and got top scores! Soooo, we’re launching the
CALL FOR PARTICIPANTS – international training course Coaching for Change
We are more than pleased to announce the invitation to participate in our first EU project, where Ribalon acts as the project coordinator.
Coaching for Change is an international Solution Focused EU project, bringing together 11 EU countries, starting on August 1st and lasting for 9 months.
The main activity, Training Course, will bring together 25 people and 4 professional facilitators and will take place from Aug 25th until Sept 3rd in Slovenia.
Most of our participants have already been recruited during the project application and preparation stage, yet we’d still like to offer an OPPORTUNITY FOR ONE PARTICIPANT from Slovenia to participate and apply.
Please find attached the project info pack where you can find out more about the project contents and practical arrangements.
Also, do forward this call and news and spread it round your channels 🙂 We’re here for you to answer any of your questions.
So happy for this incredible success and amazing opportunity to put Solution Focused in action!
Biba together with project partners
INFO PACK – Coaching for Change
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Sky – definitely not the limit today!