High Performance Requires High Maintenance

Dear reader,

In the past month I have worked in four different countries on four totally different projects. Not bad, right? So the moment I’ve woken up in my London bed, finally back and with a lazy weekend ahead, I felt the toll – a headache and sore throat. Such differences in temperature, lack of sleep and being overly-adrenaline, sounded like my thing at the time and as it ended, so has my resilience.

It is Women’s Day today. Celebration of femininity for me, which can reside in any kind of body, be it male, female or other gender. It is not about the gender per se, it is much more about the energy, the feminine energy. Feeling, instead of understanding, touching, instead of knowing. There‚Äôs nothing more feminine than knowing you deserve to be admired, helped, and adored. So my recent high performance requires high maintenance and lots of gentle, loving female energy. And I am more than happy to step out of male competition for a while.

As such, today I am having a day off. And went to a little place down the road in Shepherd’s Bush in London, to give myself a little treat. Sitting there, I noticed a remarkable link between the woman who was working hard for me and the work I do when I am seeing my clients in therapy or coaching. Both of us are professionals and experts in the processes we do. And both place the expertise on the content of what is desired to the person we are working with.

So here it is, I couldn’t resist making a vlog out of it as the inspiration came, even though I am not camera ready. Hope you enjoy it and wish you all a good, loving weekend ahead!


Female vs. male energy: a battle or harmony?

Dear reader,

I’m good. Hope you are too. Had an interesting day with one realisation I want to share with you, especially with all the ladies out there.

I was reading some posts on one of the online platforms where therapists exchange knowledge, experience, suggestions and engage in all sorts of professional discussions. The longer I was reading it, the more confused I got. People there seemed so smart, articulated, full of knowledge and citation and I was beginning to feel … well, stupid.

At some point I couldn’t follow the discussion any longer, because it was simply too complex, argumentative and rational. I gave up.

But something about it was intriguing. I couldn’t quite elaborate what. And then, out of the blue I discovered:

There were mostly men participating in the discussion. Hardly any female voice.

That doesn’t mean there were no bright, experienced women out there. Far from it. But the discussion was very “male”. It made me think and here are the results of my thinking, that might be helpful to any woman (and men consequently) in finding harmony between female and male energy. Below I shall refer to “women” and “men”, but by that I mean female and male energy, regardless of the body/gender.

  1. Women will never be equal to men. And we should both be proud of it. Diversity is to be celebrated, not assimilated.
  2. Women are accelerators. Men are providers. Whatever a man will create, a woman can help make it so much better. If a man buys her a house, she will make it a home. If he buys groceries, she will cook delicious meals. If he gives her sperm, she will make a baby. If he provides a strategy, she will make it come true.
  3. The above works in both, positive and negative ways. If men give women a bucket of shit, she’ll make a pool of it. If they give one rough word, they’ll get a hurricane. You know how this works, so no need for me to go on.
  4. Women are circular. We move in circles, can do more things at the same time, manage to enchant an entire crowd with as little as one single look. Our bodies change with our cycles. So there are several women living inside one, all of them have their own secret powers.
  5. Intuition. We were born with it. But somehow we have forgotten to train it.
  6. We might look fragile, but in many ways, we are much more stable and stronger than men. We are natural hosts, can endure more pain, can survive extreme setbacks and still look pretty as if we just had our beauty nap.
  7. We are masters of relationships and words. Engaging in a conversation is the easiest thing for us. As well as seeing the whole picture of what is going on. A woman will know exactly what to do when her care and love is needed. But she needs to feel loved and cared for before she could do that. She will also be the first to discover when someone is lying. Beware.
  8. Our spiritual potential is enormous. There is a whole universe inside our uterus. A woman who’s got her potential unleashed and is aware of her femininity, can drive any man crazy – the history is full of such evidence. Our power is tremendous. And the only one who can stop this potential blossoming is ourselves and what we do to each other.

Which leads me to some of the negative aspects of our femininity that we are perhaps scared to stand up for:

  1. Oppression. When the male energy prevails, we might feel stupid, as if we can’t contribute, even silly. The domestic sphere is seen as female, fair enough or not. But the public spheres such as politics, science, labour market, business, is still very much dominated by men. Women are catching up, but some are doing it in a way, that they are trying to compete to men and look/do the same. That I think is a big mistake. Women have their own unique ways of how to run a business, a meeting or a group. Why would we try to copy men, when we have so much to offer on our own?
  2. Trying to fit within the male world. Looking tough. Determined. Cold. Dominant. This is against our female nature. We don’t do it that way, it is not our spontaneous being. Why would buying a phone because it’s pretty be worse or seen silly than buying a phone because it has a 2938623 processor? It’s actually the same rationale behind it, so why would our reasons be less valid or important?
  3. Our hormone system and mood changes. I am not sure whether men encounter the same mood changes like we do, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong if I simply take the day off, because I need time and space to withdraw and take care of myself. I see no reason why I should be taking pain killers in order to prevent menstrual pain so that I could work harder. Why can’t I simply have my period and sorry guys, but f*** you, I’m off to have it.
  4. Abusing our bodies through porn and sex industry. I get very sad when I see teenage pop idols on stage showing their breasts and vaginas. Both are to be celebrated and respected, not treated like meat on a market. That does not mean that I am against being relaxed when it comes to nudity. But there is an important difference which is called respect.

Again, this is not a testament to speak in favour of female energy. We need both and when we recognise the differences and benefits, we can see how complementary we actually are. I recently made quite some changes at home and in some ways I’m being quite rough with my husband, but guess what: he adores me more than ever. I am respecting his male energy and he’s beginning to get to know my femininity. So of course, I am the queen of the house and he knows well that if I am balanced, feeling loved and safe, he can surf on my energy and benefit from it immensely. But if he gives me a bucket of shit or tries to cut my wings … well too bad, I’ll just continue to fly – on a broom!



Yes, this is what my working desk looks like. And I am super productive at it!