Everything Changes

Dear reader,

luck comes to those who are brave enough to look for it. There are many people who dream big. Many people who have given up their dreams. Many people who have no chance of anything like dreaming. And some people who actually do something about it.

Easier said than done. Doing something what you like is tricky. Because it might actually be much more difficult to do than doing something you don’t like. It seems paradoxical and somehow it is, because most of the people want to have a good life, enjoy themselves and those around them.

So why do most people still complain, look out for something different, fail over and over and are generally not satisfied with their current lives? Here are a few ideas how come choosing one way is easier than the other.

  • Living a live you want requires trust.

Trust I am talking about here is trust that things will work out. Trust that the way will unfold itself when the time is right. Trust also means letting go of planing, letting go of your super huge goals, letting go of analysing and trying to figure out “why” and “exactly how”.

  • Living a life you want requires courage.

Courage to take responsibility for your actions. Which might have good or bad consequences. Courage to do things that frighten you, be it call some stranger, write a complaint, tell somebody you love them, apologise for something you might have done. Courage to believe in yourself. To believe that you already have everything it takes and to believe that in a crucial moment you’ll know what to do. Which connects with the above mentioned trust.

  • Living a life you want has tolls.

It has. Some people might be your fans and admirers. And as such, they might be wanting things from you and might be on your tail. Some people might consider you threatening. Might try to disable you, stop you or speak behind your back. To live a life you want you might sometimes have to sacrifice things most people would not be willing to, such as getting drunk every weekend, wasting time watching series or even bigger things, such as giving up settling down in one place and building up a family or social community.

  • Living a life you want will pay you back.

Life is short. Way shorter than you realise. Many people say it begins at the end of your comfort zone. Since most of the people wouldn’t mind having a cosy life, this questions how many people actually do it. Are you really living or are you really comfortable? Easy roads do not make skilled drivers and one of the best teachers for life is supposed to be an empty pocket. Those of you who have quitted life of comfort, know very well that rewards are huge. You get a sense of being alive. A sense of freedom. Full flow. Passion. Love. Lightness and joy. Plenty of memories of all kinds. Nourishing relationships. Stories to tell. Experiences to share.

  • Living a life you want makes you modest.

The more you discover and experience, the less you “understand”. Until you give up the need to understand and the urge to explain. You begin to respect and celebrate diversity. Don’t have to be right (as if there is such a thing as being right). You don’t mind to share. And receive. You give up big dreams such as making an impact – it becomes more than enough to simply be, wake up every day with the sense of being fully alive and take care of your own wellbeing.

Since my last post, I am steadily moving towards a huge change in my life. A huge step that frightens me big time, and at the same time feels so right, that it would be a crime against humanity not going for it. I am choosing life, in all its beauty and unpredictability. The seeds have been planted, the end result (or better said a new beginning) will happen in a couple of months. If this post somehow resonates with you and you might want to move closer to living the life YOU want, I will share further steps  of my change with those of you who would like to get inspired via this Facebook page.

So much for now. Much love and from life,


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What to do when you need to come up with ideas

Dear reader,

sorry for neglecting you in the past post which was in Slovenian. However it was a huge success, as since it’s been published, more than 1500 people have read it.

I hope I can make it up to you with this one.

I’m currently in a position that’s somewhat blurry and confusing. I need to get some ideas about what to do next. And I need them fast. So fast that one of my friends coaches sensed that and clicked me yesterday on Facebook chat. He coached me and one of the highlights of our conversation was, when he asked: “Do you know what’s insane?” I replied whether he means that insanity is close to brilliance. He said: “No. Insane is when you keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results. Apparently you need to do something different”. An obvious Solution Focused principle and it came in about perfect time.

So whenever I find myself in a situation where I need to come up with “something different”, I fasten. For someone whose one of the favourite activities is eating, it’s a nightmare. But I know that this is a powerful means to offer my body an opportunity to heal itself and my brain to think sharp and clear. Not to mention how hungry I got already one hour after skipped breakfast. But as hours passed, so did the vawes of appetite. Meanwhile I managed to cook a delicious lunch for my husband and had no temptation to even taste it (quite proud of my stuborness and discipline!).

In the evening I met a friend and we drank a bottle of champaigne, because it was celebration time due to her lifelong contract which she’s just signed. Also we met for a coaching session, as she has some unfinished things which she would like to sort out. This might have been a slight adjustment to fasting, khm. But it was worth every sip!

We both thought the session was great. Only in the end I was really tipsy for not eating the whole day. What usually happens when fasting, at least in my (very rare) experience is, that the miracle happens at night. When you don’t eat, you don’t get sleepy and tired. Your mind is awake. And when you go to sleep, thinking still happens on a different level. So does reminiscence. And this time it happened again – I woke up at about 3.30am, totally present and focused and observed my thoughts. What I managed to learn, probably with experience and mostly through my Solution Focused training is, that I manage to direct my thoughts in the way that is useful for me. Might not be the same direction as I would like them to go (because it is so lovely to think over what happened or what will happen in terms of rumination), but definitely in the direction that produces useful results. After some time I grabbed a pen and a notebook which I keep on my nightstand for occassions just like this one and started writing down. If I don’t, I hardly remember in the morning what the thought flow was about. I do it in darkness, just write as my hand goes.

It is so much worth it. It has happened to me several times like that already and each time I’m amazed by my own capability of creativity and focus. Too bad I forget this too quickly and too often.


Now time for some proper food. Nobody can be “perfect” and at their best all the time! But one can certainly have lots of fun everytime 🙂

The greatest ideas you’ll generate when you are alone

Dear reader,

today in a modern world it appears and is advisable that all the work should be teamwork, team-building, connections, networking etc. It is indeed precious to have a circle that supports you and that you support back, that you turn to when you need advice and that you invest into, so that the circle can prosper and grow.

However, teamwork might be somewhat overrated. To generate and develop the best ideas, you need time to be alone. If you dig into this a bit further, you’ll find solid evidence in the social psychology literature that says groupwork has limits in creativity and productiveness (or you can write to me and I’m happy to provide you with the research). It’s great to exchange ideas and to point to some possible overlooked directions, but each member has to work on her/his idea alone, at least  sometimes. Alone doesn’t equal lonely. But in order to truly concentrate, focus and develop something amazing, you need some time in stillness and quiet.

Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

I’m beginning to notice that I’m being most creative during my morning runs. Even though I concentrate on running, my brain looks for connections that were not there before, explores and plays with ideas that seem appealing but utopic and I find myself smiling on the inside when the run is over. It doesn’t happen every day and even if it does it needs time to evolve and that can last the whole day or two or a week, sometimes even month. It requires reading, research, consulting with others, but the final shape, the cherry on the top, happens when I’m alone and when my mind is unleashed.

I’ve seen a client from some other faculty (I’m currently working with other faculties and students) the other day. She said she’d like to be more productive, focused and not procrastinate so much. After she told me a bit about her, I made a comment at the end of the session that she might try taking the stairs home instead of the elevator (she lives in the 7th floor). I suggested she might do this once a day and notice if there is any difference. It seemed a totally unrelated comment and honestly, I don’t know where I got the idea to propose this from and it was just a side comment, not a big concluding remark.

She came back after three weeks and said that her life had changed so much, she began to find joy and was really pleased with her ability to do something good for her every day. And the fact that she was able to do this regularly, grew her confidence in the discipline she needed for her studies. If she could do the stairs, she said, she could do the studying. It was our second and last session. I’ve read somewhere on the pinterest a quote that caught my attention and I’m happy to share it with you today as it fits very well into this post. It’s about exercise being the most underutlizied antidepressant. And also a very powerful idea-generator. Certainly works for me. Perhaps it might work for some of you too.