First Year in London

Dear reader,

today is exactly one year since I formally left Slovenia, cancelled all my papers, accounts, insurances and moved to London with a one-way ticket, no work contract and no place to live. Looking back over the past year, I think it was the best decision I ever made but not because London would have been so spectacular or I wanted to escape something. Neither, really. It is more an analogy with our working with clients when at the beginning of our work, some would have it difficult describing what is it they are hoping for and even more difficult describing what that might look like. I did feel a bit doubtful and scared at the beginning, but also trusting that life will present itself to me best it could. And it did.

We live our lives the best we can in given circumstances. And many times we think we are giving all we can. And other times there is so much more to discover, but we do not give ourselves a chance or simply overlook that we might have extra resources, some of which we have long forgotten about or some we thought we never had. Yet they surface, when we need them.

And they surface when you do things you’ve never done before, in places you’re not used to. Easy roads do not make skilled drivers, but skilled drivers often don’t consider themselves as such once they master the skill. In Solution Focused Brief Therapy or Coaching we however do. Looking for hidden gems is exactly what us as practitioners are curious about – the resources people have and demonstrate every single day, but might not be aware of or the circumstances around them don’t recognise it as such. As was with me – now looking back moving to London doesn’t seem such a big thing, but thinking about it on this special day, my life has changed dramatically since then. Travelling loads, I always had a sense that I need to pack many things “just in case”. Whenever I moved in to a new place I wanted to make it a “home”. In the past year I learned that the more I drag around, the more I enhance my sense of vulnerability. I am totally comfortable with uncomfortable now and pack extremely light. Feel totally stable with unstable world. And those are actually skills – I know that everywhere I’ll go and anything I’ll do in the future, I’ll not only manage, but also enjoy the journey. I don’t need stable, predictable or safe anymore. It’s an illusion anyway. Life is a constant-changing process and stability is rather our enormous skills of survival and thriving disguised. So glad to be a Londoner now. Feels good to be here and I think I might stay another year. UK is a great country and I feel good in it. For now (and asking about Brexit – if UK government doesn’t know what to say, how would I?)

As for you, never underestimate your skills. Rather than looking how far you still need to go, how about turning back and celebrate how far you’ve come?

Biba

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Look forward, but don’t forget that you’ve got a rucksack full of resources with you. That’s the only baggage you’ll ever need.

Where do we go from here?

Dear reader,

as I am writing this, I am sitting in a beautiful garden behind one of English lovely cake-like houses and wondering whether it is too early to have a glass of wine. It has been a long, fruitful day and I am happy, watching busy squirrels in a big tree, getting ready for winter.

I am in London now. Set my foot in. Since my radical decision to move here, it has been a long and hard journey, sorting out all the paperwork, dealing with trouble at home, rushing, meeting deadlines and as is usually the case, of course everything that could possible go wrong, has done so. But I am here now. And as I’ve just began to lose the inner gut positive feeling with all the hassle, I got it back now. I feel this is the right place for me to be. I belong here. This is my home. People in the streets are smiling at me. People are sending good wishes. Even banks like me to send me a free credit card 🙂

Home? I’ve no ideas where I am going to live. I’ve no contract or employer waiting. All I have is one suitcase, one backpack and a handbag, handful of clothes, a laptop, phone and various chargers with adaptors. Yet I am not sure what more I need at this stage. There are people here I love. People who want me to be here. People whom I want to be with. People whom I want to help. Communities I want to be a part of. And that’s enough for now.

How am I going to survive? I am not sure. Not worried either. I know I am a passionate person, who loves a lot and has got much to give. So I trust to meet likeminded people who will take what I’ve got to offer and will make it useful for their own thriving and wellbeing.

Soon I will register my private company here in the UK. Open my private practice where people, especially young people, who want to find hope, joy, passion, love, freedom, confidence, happiness or anything else they wish for, can do so. I am not interested in mental health issues. I am interested in mental health boosters. So let’s explore and travel through this experience called life together.

There’s London behind me in the picture. The future is ahead. And this present moment is good.

With much love,

Biba

Beautiful sunny London

Beautiful sunny London

Mind the Gap Please and Keep Calm … yeah right

My dearest, dear readers,

I often say life never goes according to our plans, does it. As I am writing this, I am having Pret decaf coffee at the Luton airport, returning back home from BRIEF Summer School 2018. This international summer school is one of the most magical solution focused brief therapy trainings, where experienced practitioners together with new stars across the world meet, learn and work together. This year I was so privileged and blessed to contribute to and co-shape its program with bits and pieces of group work and warming up activities, so needless to say it has had a special meaning for me.

It might seem to be the right time to tell you about the upcoming big changes, mentioned in the previous post.

For the past four years, I have been engaged in quite an unusual relationship. On-off, distance one, beautiful, fierce, loving, growing, totally unpredictable. And so life’s decided, this relationship is here to stay. Not only stay, we are heading towards a serious commitment, which shows in moving in together. In other more accurate words, I am moving to London, am in the middle of the process of becoming a UK resident and am  not only physically but also formally leaving Slovenia. I say formally, because Slovenia will always remain my home and a big part of my life is staying there, even though my Slovenian passport now has UK address in it. But professional development is leading me to the UK and my inner gut feeling says it’s right.

Don’t ask me what I’ll do or where I’ll stay. I don’t know. All I know is that life is short, I don’t want to have a plan B and I want to wake up every morning with the feeling that this is what I should be doing and this is where I need to be doing it right now. I will for sure continue with developing my Solution Focused Practice, partly because by now I don’t know how to work in any other way (nor do I want to) and partly because I love it more and more every year. So who knows what life will bring, thank each and every one of you who have been massively supportive when I first started thinking about this decision in June, thanks to all of my UK friends who have welcomed me so warmly when I first came back in 2014. Thank all of you, who have been thrilled when I told you that this time I am staying. Thank you my Slovenian friends for all we’ve accomplished together, I will hopefully be coming back as a regular visitor and we’ll have many chances to catch up. I am doing one more professional solution focused training in Slovenia as my final farewell and if you can, join in and take all I have to offer.

Lastly, thanks for all of the opportunities I wasn’t offered in Slovenia and all the rejections. I am beyond happy not to be engaged in a bonding contract and deeply grateful for being kind of pushed to start on my own and develop my own company. So I did. And now I am doing it again, but far from being alone. I am so so so much looking forward to new projects, new experience, new collaborations. I can’t tell you how warm it feels when you know you are going somewhere you are welcome, people want you and can’t wait for you to come.

So here I am.

Biba

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Thrilled, excited and beyond words!!!