Not interested in therapy anymore. I never was.

Dear reader,

It doesn’t interest me if you’ll read this post. What matters is, if it might add to your day so that you can be in alignment with who you are and want to be.

It is not my ambition to collect likes and followers. What really matters to me, is whether we will get to the point of being true to each other and be well off together, or separately.

It hasn’t been of my concern of whether this world will be a better place because of me. As long as it is not worse.

Why do we post on social media? To impact? Impress? Sell? Inform? Show off? Justify our existence? Please don’t, the world is already overly cluttered. What I want is to share with you simple, casual, everyday images and thoughts, no photo filters or editing, not in order to shock or impress or inspire, but simply to share authenticity and an image of real life, not camera-ready or social media cropped. And I am interested in seeing you, for who you are and how you are, not just when things go right but when they go everywhere.

Life is so much better when lived and enjoyed together. So I do care about each and every one of you, whether we have met yet or not, whether we will find a common language, or not.

I just hope that every living being feels comfortable in their shoes/bodies and is brave enough to share their life story as it is, not as the mass media, pressure and competition think it should be. And that every being is left alone, not pressed to be different. We are not competing, we are travelling, changing, expanding. If I can do it, you can do it, everyone can do it. There is nothing special about me or my life. It’s just that I along the way, decided not to strive to be exceptional or an achiever. I allowed to be every-day average and enjoying it. And life unfolded in front of my eyes in ways I could have never imagined, I am thriving and my work calendar is full until July.

Change is constant and inevitable, this is one of the core assumptions in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Therapy, traditionally, has been viewed as trying to fix what has been broken or to bring people onto the “right” path (again or for the first time). People are not broken. We have had different life experiences which have been offering us lessons over and over again. Sometimes we learn and sometimes we don’t and that’s learning too. But we are never broken, just undone. And once we are done, we’ll probably leave this place and go somewhere else.

So may I be undone with you, haven’t shaved legs or done my nails for weeks and yet I am not sure what I might lack this very moment. Things are changing. And so are we. In this world, sometimes together, sometimes separately, but we are all sharing this Planet so … I care about you. Living being, be it a stone, a river, a fly, cat or dear reader.

With love,

Biba

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There is a fine line between genius and crazy. I like to use that line as a jump rope. Photo D. Hogan, Frankfurt SF Trainers Conference 2019

For SLO: Masterclass in Solution Focused Practice (Coaching and Therapy)

Dear reader,

this is a post for my dear home country, Slovenia so please allow me to write in my mother tongue. If you are not a native speaker, you might be intrigued by complexity of Slovene language and if you are currently in Slovenia or will be around the upcoming May, then this news might be of value to you.

Draga Slovenija,

Od mojega “tapravega” odhoda v Anglijo lansko leto, sem se na področju kratke, k rešitvam usmerjene terapije (Solution Focused Brief Therapy) naučila veliko novega, sprejela veliko novih klientov in ponudila usposabljanja na to temo angleški strokovni javnosti na BRIEF v Londonu, Stratfordu ter Walesu, ki so bila toplo sprejeta.

Vse to rezultira seveda v novih izkušnjah in pogledih, ki jih želim deliti s slovensko strokovno javnostjo maja, ko se za nekaj časa vračam v domovino.

Tako organiziram letni “staying SF” enodnevni dogodek, ki je namenjen vsem, ki bi radi osvežili in poglobili znanje iz k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa (Solution Focused Approach). Videli boste nove posnetke dela z resničnimi klienti, preizkusili boste nove vaje, prav tako pa boste slišali novosti na področju razvoja pristopa v Evropi ter Veliki Britaniji.

Vidimo se 11. maja 2019 v hotelu Nox v Ljubljani med 10.00 in 17.00 uro.

Cena za celodnevni dogodek je 100 eur, vključen material ter pijača in prigrizki med odmorom. Dogodek sem si zamislila bolj intimno, za maksimalno 10-12 ljudi. Za rezervacijo mesta pošljite mail na biba@ribalon.org. Posnetki dela s klienti so večinoma v angleščini, zato je priporočeno znanje jezika. Diskusija in vaje bodo v slovenščini. Mesta bodo dodeljena na osnovi “first come, first served”.

Upam, da se vidimo ter ponovno skupaj povadimo ter se pogovorimo o pristopu, ki v svetu še vedno velja za radikalno drugačnega, ne glede na to, da je z nami že 40 let.

Vabljeni!
Biba

PS. dogodek je lahko zanimiv tudi za tiste, ki pristopa še ne poznate, vendar se že ukvarjate z delom z ljudmi (kot terapevti, coachi, izobraževalci, trenerji ali moderatorji). Za pokušino pa tale video:

My first course at BRIEF

Dear reader,

I like groups. Groups are powerful. Inspiring. Challenging. Tribal. Connecting. Caring.

Working with groups can be a delight. Working with groups applying Solution Focused Approach can be miraculous. If you are a practitioner (therapist, coach or consultant), trainer, counsellor, teacher or connector and would like to explore how to use Solution Focused Approach with groups, then this will be the course for you. Have a look here.

BRIEF is the world leading training centre in Solution Focused Practice. And this is my first course as its international trainer.

See you in London. This is an event we will never forget. And neither will you. So be with us when it happens, not to miss this opportunity when others will talk about it months or perhaps years after.

Biba and BRIEF

All you need is a cup of coffee …

Dear reader,

As I haven’t settled in London yet, I’m undergoing through a process of learning how to live out on nothing but essentials. Being kind of sympathetic minimalist, I was looking forward to the idea of living out of a suitcase and found it immensely fun packing nothing but essentials. So now I have one suitcase (medium size), one rucksack (medium size) and a big handbag. This is currently my “everything”.

The places I’m currently staying at, have no common room, not even kitchen. So I actually need very little toiletries, a night dress and flip flops, travel towel and a place with stable wifi. Oh, and a power bank, always a power bank if you are working online.

Why am I telling you this? Because it relates to the belief, that we need a lot in order to feel the way we want to feel. For instance, “I need to have a steady job which will pay £3,000 pcm, before I could finally be independent”. Or “I need to lose 10 lbs before I can start feeling pretty”. Or “I need to buy this new superfood, before I can start feeling good”. There is always something, before something else can happen. You get the picture.

Living out of a suitcase is a nice way to remind you this is not true. Even though I have only three bags, there is about half of the clothes I haven’t even worn yet. And doubt I will. So in case I will not, I will donate it. Yet however, I catch myself buying little things on the way, be it a cute shampoo bottle I don’t need, or a pack of cashews I won’t eat. Just “in case”. Or “for later”.

This comes from feeling like there’s something missing. Like I’m not enough already. That I need to compensate. Secure things. Take care, save, plan for the future. Yet life doesn’t seem to work that way. It is unpredictable. Yet it always somehow works out.

Now that I don’t have my own place to work, I spend much time outside in places where the main criteria is stable wifi. And today my roommate, a beautiful Greek girl, invited me over to a place she’s currently working at. I went there and she brought me a gigantic mug of coffee. She’s given it for free and it was one of the best coffee I ever had. Not because I’d usually have bad coffee, but because she provided it with care. And because I let her. So she took care of my comfort, warmth and wellbeing, while I was on Skype with Bulgarian organisation, for which as a part of their international project, I’ll come and deliver a 2-day training and a public lecture on Solution Focused Practice in April in 2019. So this will be my contribution to make this world a nicer place. And it partly happened, because I let my roommate took care of me.

It is nice to know we are looking after each other. With small acts of kindness. We are in this together. And not being imbued with thinking what else I need to buy, accomplish, secure, protect, carry with, it allows freedom I have never imagined. However it is not easy let others take care of us. At least it wasn’t to me, enjoyable as it is.

Insecurity is a freedom with a high price.

So here goes, with much love,

Biba

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London Mona Lisa?