What to say to a new-born

Dear reader,

you haven’t heard from me for a while. If you browse the blog’s pages, you might have figured out the reason why yourself. If not, I’ll tell you now.

Ribalon has been born. First Slovenian Solution Focused Institute. I’m sure you’re not surprised, because I told you in the past posts that something similar is coming up. Well I AM surprised, because I can’t believe how I managed that. And yet it’s here, conceived with help of many many wonderful people which I’m dedicating this post to:

– C.I. It’s one year now since I first met you in London. You encouraged and pushed me to practice what I’ve learned as soon as I returned home. You gave me tips about preparing my first workshops. You helped me with proposals for the research funds. You were always there when I needed you, replying to my doubts about whether I’m going in the right direction, answering my questions about SFBT, spending a day with me in the EBTA conference afternoon … and finally you agreed to be Ribalon’s consulting body. Many say you are one of the best SFBT therapists in the world. I think so too. But I find it hard to believe that you’ve decided to dedicate so much of your time to me.

– SFBTA. I can’t even list all the wonderful people who have prepared me such a warm welcome in America. Thank you for the opportunity to visit you, participate on training and conference and to stay in touch. Ribalon is the result from it.

– EBTA. The national representative’s members, who invited me to join even though it was only me (100% Slovenian presence ha). The research committee who pointed me to a direction I can explore further. Thank you J. W. for your prompt replies and your willingness to help Ribalon to be born and for your future help for it to learn to stand up.

– SOL CEE. I can’t remember the last time I had so much fun. I love you guys.

– M. M. from Italy. Thank you for your peer coaching just before the Ribalon’s opening.

– R. F. from Canada. I’m still embarrassed because I don’t know how to properly thank you for your efforts in making it easier for me to obtain the top SFBT literature.

– E.d.J. from the Netherlands. You saw in me what I didn’t. Now I do. You were among the first who’ve set Ribalon’s foundation.

– all my fb Solution Focused friends around the world. For your best wishes you’ve sent, the support you’ve expressed. I feel close to you even though we see each other once a year.

– My faculty and university. You gave me the opportunity to try and practice. We launched Solution Focused Coaching together. Thank you for your trust and willingness to let me do what I feel that I have to do. Here’s the outcomes.

– last, but not least, my clients. First my friends, who were the first to experience SFBT. You were the ones that helped me improve. I’ve earned so much from you. And you from me. As I saw you thrive, I knew I picked the right road. All the future clients will benefit from our past work.

So dear reader, thank you for being around. For being with me on this fabulous journey. This is not the end, it’s another beginning. This blog has become a webpage http://ribalon.org. You can check what we’ve accomplished together in one year.

My dear Ribalon, you were born to lift others up. I hope I can provide you with wings you need to do so. As C. I. once said to me when I asked him what to say to a new-born, he said:

Listen and don’t follow!

Your mom.

  2013-10-29 13.47.16

A Word about You: 1,000 Visitors!

Dear reader,

Since the birth of this blog, today the number of visitors turned 1,000 and beyond! Thank you so much for following, being around, letting me know you appreciate my work and thank you for simply being. According to the statistics, I’ve got readers from all over the world (in no specific order): the Netherlands, United States, United Kingdom, Denmark, Switzerland, Germany, Italy, Philippines, Poland, Belgium, Israel, Canada, Austria, Australia, Croatia, Mexico, Greece, Argentina, Serbia, Singapore, Russian Federation, Taiwan, Norway, France and the Republic of Korea.

Since the beginning of my practice, I’ve had more than 30 clients, many of them were in their following sessions and I’ve had many more who were not in sessions but were curious about what I do. The feedback I got so far is 92/100% satisfaction, which includes questions of respect, professionalism, usefulness, effects and overall experience. I’ve had about 10 workshops delivered on SF introduction at various organizations and have worked with different groups. That has resulted in expanded collaboration, so the project is slowly growing. I receive let’s say weekly emails with all sorts of help/suggestion proposals. Though I don’t measure the feedback from these, I have a sense that the receivers are happy with my answers, because they stay and keep writing. The newly launched Facebook page had more than 100 likes in 5 days only. So I obviously can’t find the right words to express how honoured I am, so I’m (as usual) going to tell you another SF story.

Knitting you all the “cherry on the top” words above, the reality is, I’m almost daily standing in front of huge challenges and have to take difficult steps that I have no idea where they’ll lead to. At least once a day I do a task that I’m scared to do or in the best case, I feel uncomfortable doing (like have a meeting with someone I don’t know well and is not favourable towards the project, implement some new ideas or using new questions in sessions that may not result being useful, etc.). So sometimes at the end of a day, especially if I haven’t seen any client (consequently my purpose is drifting), I feel small and would preferably like to hide for a while. I never do, don’t know how I manage this really. But I do look for support, mostly in people I deeply respect. So I wrote the other day to SF list (online list uniting SF therapists and workers worldwide) and shared my doubts. I got a reply from D. from Belgium, who’s been working as a SF worker for 43 years:

My general advice: whatever you do, do it with passion. More specifically, if you want to be good at doing therapy/coaching, just do just that. Time spent on other things like building organisations, conferences-, etc. is time you will not be able to spend with your clients.

And today I got FB message from a student working in our tutor system, saying she’s heard about my workshop and has heard it was great and students loved it, so she’d like to invite me to deliver another one for her public. Also, I had a meeting with an experienced psychotherapist who is familiar and favours solution focused therapy. We’ve spent a nice afternoon together and I got some very useful information and so did she. We decided we’ll work on preparing a project together one day. So my dear reader, even though I get home late and have zero spare time, I like spending time with you, even though I don’t know you personally and haven’t met you. Yet. Thank you again for being around and being around so much!


Taking small steps, making huge difference. With a smile 🙂