Tag Archives: solution focused brief therapy

Solution Focused Groupwork – a couple of ideas

Dear reader,

Many times queries and inquiries come about how to use Solution Focused Approach to Groupwork. So here are some ideas.

About groups and group work

A group:

  • has members who might or might not know each other,
  • might or might not want to be there,
  • have individual aspirations,
  • have different levels of motivation to participate.
* A group circle centre

Groups are not teams (can be but not necessarily) – Solution Focused process might in some ways be more straightforward with teams because they already have a common goal or direction (or conflict!) but groups may not.

Same as working with individuals, in group work, the Solution Focused worker is totally in the unknown. It is also very likely that participants will not want to cooperate or expose themselves individually (especially adolescents for instance!). However, they might be very happy to get to know their other peers. The worker’s task is to communicate to the participants that they own the group work. Once they take the ownership of the activity, the rest of the process is rather simple. It’s similar to building the contract with individual clients – once you both agree on the direction, the Solution Focused process can start.

Compared to individual work, group work:

  • may be slower at each SF stage (more time for the contract, more time for the preferred future, etc., depending on the group size and facilitator’s approach to working with groups),
  • has a group dynamic going, which can affect the group work (i.e. some participants are more extravert than others, more willing to engage, etc.),
  • there is a risk to lose individual participants to keep the group running,
  • brings huge rewards and pleasure for the worker, as after building the contract (common group agreement and individual hopes), the group does most of the work itself, while the worker steps back, becomes the facilitator the process and holds the space for them.
*Group activity

Below is an example of the whole Solution Focused (SF) group process description. These exercises were developed through lots of failures and some successes working with diverse groups. It is very rare to have an opportunity to run the whole SF process, mainly because of lack of time. If so, you might want to choose what suits a certain group and group aim. Groupwork can pretty much take any facilitation methodology you come up with. If you like music, use music. If you like people to move around a lot, use that. The important thing is to be transparent with the group of what you are inviting them to do (the language of “inviting” rather than “getting” them to do something works better) and give very simple and clear instructions. This way it is likely that the group will perceive you as someone who is with them and will give them a chance to express their aspirations and needs, hence taking over the ownership.

  • Contract or building the platform

a) Introductions – when the group members do not know each other (or do not know each other well):

  • find a partner you don’t know (or don’t know well)
    • think of one thing you’re really pleased about (individually)
    • introduce yourself to your partner (name, what you do/where you come from, etc., what went well)
    • turn to another pair and make a four: introduce your partner by transforming what you heard about them into a compliment.

b) building common agreement (contract): from I to we (suitable for groups up to 50 where the common goal of the group is yet unknown):

  • What is my hope for this event (training, group meeting) as myself?
    • What is my hope from this event (how will I know this activity has been useful for me when it is over and I am back home)?
    • What do I need to function well in the group?
    • What do we need to function well in the group?

Each participant writes individually, then in their fours (or fives if the group is larger) discuss what they’ve written and create some “ingredients for the common agreement”. Then pick one person who will share it with the whole group. The facilitator then introduces the common agreement and a “parking lot” for additional rules and suggestions that might not have been addressed or might occur later.

  • Preferred Future

This can be done with the whole group at once, changing partners with each question. The exercise is exploring what the group members came for with their peers. The point is not to tell what they came for (not to disclose their best hopes)but only describe the difference it would make. If working on individual hopes, the facilitator invites the participants to think of something they want to change in their lives (a positive change). If working on group’s hopes, the miracle will change (insert what the group comes up with as a desired outcome, perhaps take it from the common group agreement).

Make a people carrousel (facing each other, each round changing partners) with questions such as:

  • Think of the weirdest question you could ask (invites them to the miracle, creates a lively atmosphere)
    • What in your life is already going well?
    • Imagine a miracle happened and what you came here for (or the purpose of the activity in case there is a very clear purpose to which everyone agrees) is already happening (is the best activity you ever attended). What would be the first sign to you?
    • What would be different for you in your life, if this miracle happened?
    • What gives you the confidence that you have got the potential to reach your desired outcome (in case it is the common outcome -what is already giving you the clues that you will benefit from this activity hugely?)
    • Which skills and resources are you already possessing that might support you on this journey (in case it is the activity itself, which skills and resources of yours will be most valuable in this group to make this activity worthwhile?)
    • Who would you most like to share your successes with when you return home? Why?
    • What will other group members be noticing about you that will tell them you are benefiting from the activity? (optional, only if everybody really wants to be there).
  • Instances of success

An example of tracking instances of success is the exercise called “Hot seats”. You can change the setting based on whether the group is focused on individual or group outcomes. This exercise is only appropriate when there is enough group trust and enough time for everyone to sit on “hot seats”.

The setting:

  • Having someone present a case/plan/idea
  • Having two or three people asking more details around their case/plan/idea
  • Having the audience tracking instances of success, such as observing what in this idea/plan is already going well. When people in other hot seats stop asking questions, the audience provides appreciative feedback to the person presenting their case/idea.
  • Using scales in group work

Can be done for very different purposes, for instance:

  • to check with the group where we are during the activity (10 is you are benefiting perfectly from the activity and 1 is you are not benefiting at all – on a scale mark where you are currently, then explore together how come it is not lower and what would be the signs of a n+1)
    • to get ideas from peers (scaling walk, useful to close the activity)
    • to track footsteps into signs of progress (useful to close the activity)
    • etc.

Closing

a) When the group is mature and coming towards an end:

Stick papers on each other’s backs. Each participant writes things they appreciated about other participants on their back. They mingle among themselves with the aim to write to as many backs they can. At the same time others will write on their own backs and the key is not to pay attention who is writing on your back.

After 10-15 mins or so (depending on the group’s size), come back and sit in a circle. Take the papers off your back and read it. Pick three things that touched you most and write them on a small piece of paper to keep with you forever. Share in a circle (optional).

b) in crisis situations

Have a cubicle and a list of 6 SF questions such as What do we have to get right, how will we know we are moving forward, What is still working well, etc. and offer participants to randomly throw it at each other. This activity rearranges the power relations and returns the ownership of the activity to the group.

c) final closing

Allow the group to organise itself how they would like to close the activity. It can be sharing in the circle, using some symbol cards (i.e. Dixit cards) and hold the space for their comments, questions, curiosity. 

*All of these exercises can be adapted for online groups, using digital tools.

*Group activity

Hope you found this article useful, do give it a go and share it as you wish. And if you would like to sharpen your skills as a group leader and facilitator, Chris Iveson and myself will run another groupwork course at BRIEF in autumn 2022. These courses are incredible and always lead to new innovations, for example this one from last year:

And some other very useful resources for group activities:

SF Activities: Rohrig, P., & Clarke, J. (Eds.). (2008). 57 SF Activities for Facilitators and Consultants: Putting Solutions Focus Into Action. Solutions Books.

Different methodologies: Salto-youth Toolbox for Training: https://www.salto-youth.net/tools/toolbox/ (accessed on Mar 11th 2022).

Wishing you lots of fun with your groups!

Biba

*A group of international group trainers from Prague

I woke up in London and I’d like to give you an offer

Dear reader, especially dear young people, parents or families who could benefit from a Solution Focused conversation, here is an offer for you.

It feels so good waking up in London. New ideas coming my way and life happening all around! So appreciative of this huge, enormous, generous and fierce city! And here’s an offer for you, in case you missed it on social media. Join us and see “what we do” and “what this Solution Focused approach looks like” as a client and take part in our upcoming Masterclass in Solution Focused Brief Therapy in Slovenia.

On 1st and 2nd February 2020 we are organising annual Masterclass for professionals, who would like to learn skills of how to facilitate conversations that open up possibilities of a better future. Ribalon Institute, SLO, in collaboration with SF Possibilities, UK, will bring together three trainers/practitiners of Solution Focused Brief Therapy, who will teach and learn together with the group on those two days. You can find detailed programme here.

We would like to offer a live demonstration of Solution Focused conversation and therefore, we created this event, to join people who could benefit from it from both perspectives: clients as well as training attendees.

If you are a young person (till age of 30), a parent or if your family would like to join us as a client face to face or online via Skype, please get in touch with us. The service for you is completely free. For more information feel free to contact me at biba@ribalon.org.

Welcome! And hugs from London,

Biba

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I have my place I call home. If you are still looking for one, Solution Focused conversation might help.

Solution Focused Masterclass for professionals working with families, children and young people

Solution Focused practice is an approach to foster positive change effectively and in a considerably shorter amount of time than other approaches. It was developed in 1980’s by Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg as Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) and has since been worldwide used across different fields, such as therapy, social work, coaching, training, business, management, education, facilitation, project management, etc.

Solution Focused practice is having a massive impact on all aspects of education and is associated with making a massive difference in behaviour, attendance, school achievement, leadership and staff morale. It provides a simple framework for managing influential conversations between professionals and young people/children/families, which have the capacity to improve:

  • well-being of families, children or young people
  • parental support and cooperation
  • school attendance
  • learning
  • behaviour
  • relationships
  • enthusiasm and job satisfaction
  • burnout prevention

On 1st and 2nd February 2020, Ribalon Institute is proudly hosting two special guests from United Kingdom and offering you a 2-day Masterclass for Slovenian professionals working with families, children and young people in school settings, social services youth field or another educational sector.

Ben&Greg.png

Ben Scott trained in Solution Focused Practice with BRIEF in London, and has since gone on to receive accreditation with UKASFP (UK Association of Solution Focused Practice). Ben works in the Education department of Bedford Borough Local Authority, co-ordinating a schools-based Solution Focused service, and providing targeted Solution Focused training to senior school staff. This training targets family support workers, pastoral leads, and Heads of Year. In addition, Ben uses Solution Focused Practice when volunteering for ‘Azalea’, a charity that supports women to exit from sexual exploitation and that offers mentoring to men who purchase sex and wish to quit doing so.

Greg Oberbeck has been using the Solution Focused approach for over seven years now, working with families as part of an ‘edge of care’ team within Essex County Council. In addition to working with families, Greg helps to develop practice through regular workshops, SF supervision as well as SF trainings. He has also wanted to continue to do more with the approach, and so over the past few years has been working with the Young Women’s Trust, providing SF telephone coaching and also has an online-based private practice. Like Ben, Greg has also been trained in Solution Focused Practice with BRIEF in London and is also received accreditation with the UKASFP.

In January 2019 Ben, Greg and Biba have formed a new organisation in the UK called SF Possibilities, at which they are designing and delivering face-to-face and online training courses in Solution Focused practice in the UK and beyond with the mission of keeping the practice succinct, minimalistic and straightforward. Some of their work you will be able to experience in this two-day Masterclass, which will be geared specifically towards teachers, psychologists, learning support staff, mentors, youth workers, social workers and any other professionals working with children, young people or whole families. The course will be in English, with occasional Slovenian translation upon demand.

In the February 2-day Masterclass, you will learn all the essential skills of Solution Focused tools and techniques and will be able to start putting them into practice as soon as you return to work. Full course content can be accessed here. To book your place, please visit https://forms.gle/QfCvkzCVkVJusJsm8. The cost for the whole Masterclass is 320 eur. One day bookings are also possible (170 eur). For all the queries, contact Biba at biba@ribalon.org. We are very much looking forward to seeing you in February!

Ben, Biba & Greg

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Click here for detailed course content.

SLO: Certifikat iz k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa + prva novica o novih strokovnih usposabljanjih v Sloveniji

All the international readers, I hope you do forgive me for offering a post in my mother tongue – I am so proud to announce a very fresh set of Solution Focused trainings in Slovenia as well as a very first certificate process for Slovenian professionals who would like to take their Solution Practice further, to a certified level. Ribalon Institute has been bringing Solution Focused practice to Slovenia since 2014 and has every year organised trainings for Slo audiences. After I left the country, there was a slight risk those trainings would stop, however I promised to myself to give my best and stay true to my roots by continuing to spread the SF word, skills and knowledge in my country. And so, for this autumn we have something special prepared. Whilst Slo friends are invited to read further, the rest of you may take a break and have a good and long summer! Thank you all!

Spoštovana Slovenija,

vsi, ki ste z nami že opravili usposabljanja in uporabljate pristop, za vas smo z ekipo iz UK pripravili program, ki vam bo omogočil večjo prepoznavnost in odraz vaših veščin. Certifikat, pridobljen z usposabljanjem in izkazom veščin k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa je prva stopnja kvalifikacij, ki jamči, da prejemnik:

  • Pozna osnove k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa
  • Zna ustrezno, kompetentno in etično uporabljati pristop pri svojem delu
  • Skrbi za lasten profesionalni razvoj in refleksijo svoje prakse.

Certifikat se podeli posamezniku/-ci (v nadaljevanju »kandidat«) na podlagi opravljenih strokovnih usposabljanj in izkazane kompetentnosti pri uporabi veščin in orodij k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa.

Pogoji za vstop v proces certificiranja ter pridobitev certifikata

Kandidati za vstop v proces certificiranja opravijo najmanj 8-dnevno usposabljanje iz k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa, ki ga izvaja Ribalon v Sloveniji oz. njegovi partnerji v tujini (BRIEF ali SFP) in obvezno vključuje opravljeno osnovno usposabljanje. Udeležba na delavnicah, ki niso usposabljanje ali predstavitvah na konferencah za proces certificiranja ne šteje, šteje pa opravljeno usposabljanje znotraj drugih organizacij, v izvedbi Ribalona ali partnerskih izvajalcev.

Vloga za certificiranje

Kandidati, ki dosegajo zahtevane pogoje so vabljeni k oddaji pisne vloge, s katero izkazujejo razumevanje k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa.

Vloga naj obsega do 10 strani (brez virov in literature) in zajema naslednja poglavja:

  1. Opis kandidatovega trenutnega delovnega mesta, znotraj katerega uporablja k rešitvam usmerjen pristop
  2. Opis opravljenih usposabljanj
  3. Razumevanje in opis k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa in modela
  4. Opis uporabe k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa in predpostavk pri kandidatovem delu
  5. Študija primera: podroben opis in dokumentacija konkretnega primera
  6. Skrb za profesionalni razvoj (supervizija, strokovno izpopolnjevanje)
  7. Viri in navedena literatura, kjer je to potrebno

Vlogo pošljete dr. A. Bibi Rebolj na elektronski naslov biba@ribalon.org z referenco “certifikat iz SF”. Po oddani vlogi boste prejeli povratno informacijo o odobrenem certifikatu ter podelitvi, ali morebitnih dopolnitvah ter dodatnih pojasnilih, v primeru, da vloga še ne dosega standardov za podelitev certifikata. Ocenjevalci so dr. A. Biba Rebolj, Ben Scott, Greg Oberbeck in po potrebi, svetovalno telo inštituta Ribalon.

Ob uspešni in pozitivno ocenjeni vlogi, boste Certifikat prejeli v fizični obliki, povabljeni pa boste tudi, da postanete eden izmed Ribalonovih priporočenih praktikov.

Navodila za pripravo vloge

Pri pripravi vloge sledite spodnjim navodilom ter obsegu. Vloga naj bo v MsWord, poljubne pisave, velikost 12.

  1. Opis trenutnega delovnega mesta, znotraj katerega kandidat uporablja k rešitvam usmerjen pristop – do 150 besed
  1. Opis opravljenih strokovnih usposabljanj: navedba kraja, datumov, izvajalcev, trajanje posameznega modula ter skupno število dni (ur).
  1. Razumevanje in opis k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa in modela – do 600 besed

K rešitvam usmerjen pristop lahko opišemo na različne načine, bodisi kot nabor orodij in tehnik, bodisi skozi predpostavke, bodisi skozi razmišljanje o tem, kako pristop dojema spremembo, kliente, načine dela, ipd. V opisu nas zanimata kandidatova interpretacija in razumevanje pristopa in v tem smislu ne zahtevamo opisa zgodovine in razvoja pristopa, pozdravljamo pa sklicevanje na relevantno literaturo.

  1. Opis načina uporabe k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa in njegovih predpostavk pri kandidatovem delu – do 1300 besed

V tem delu kandidat izkazuje sposobnosti uporabe k rešitvam usmerjenih predpostavk in tehnik v različnih kontekstih, znotraj katerih deluje, npr. pri delu s klienti, morda pri poučevanju, izvajanju skupinskih srečanj, pri svetovanju, vodenju sestankov, ipd.

  1. Študija primera: podroben opis in dokumentacija konkretnega nedavnega primera, kjer je uporabljen k rešitvam usmerjen pristop – do 2500 besed

V tem segmentu kandidat izkazuje kompetentno uporabo k rešitvam usmerjenih veščin v praksi. Kandidat izbere primer iz prakse, kjer je uporabil k rešitvam usmerjen pristop in tehnike:

  • Izbran primer naj bo odraz nedavnega dela in ne starejši od 6 mesecev od prijave za Certifikat.
  • Primer naj bo samostojno delo, ne npr. delo v paru z drugim k rešitvam usmerjenim praktikom ali soizvajalcem
  • Pri opisu naj se kandidat osredotoča na uporabo SF veščin in ne na opis primera. Ne opisuje se zgodovine primera in podrobnih okoliščin klienta, temveč se izkazuje kompetentno uporabo k rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa. Posebej dobrodošli so transkripti dejanskih pogovorov.
  • V študiji primera se lahko opiše eno ali več srečanj s klientom ter celotno sodelovanje skozi daljše časovno obdobje. V kolikor obstajajo informacije, se opiše tudi učinke po tem, ko je bilo delo zaključeno.
  • V opisu primera kandidat jasno opiše kako je vzpostavil dogovor oz. sporazum s klientom in kaj je ta vseboval.
  • Nato opiše kako je potekal opis željene prihodnosti, pri čemer demonstrira kako se je v vprašanjih osredotočal na znamenja, ne na korake ali cilje – poudarki pri opisu željene prihodnosti so na znamenjih, ne akcijskem načrtu.
  • V kolikor so bile uporabljene lestvice, kandidat navede kako jih je zastavil (kaj je bila 10, kaj je bila 0), kakšna so bila nadaljnja vprašanja in čemu je dal največji poudarek.
  • Ob koncu napiše svojo refleksijo o tem, kaj je po lastnem mnenju naredil dobro ter kaj bi si želel, da bi naredil drugače (ter kako, v kolikor bi imel še eno možnost).
  • Kandidat navede tudi kako je poskrbel za ustrezno varnost in zaščito klienta in/ali njegovih bližnjih, v primerih, kjer je bilo to potrebno.
  1. Skrb za lasten profesionalni razvoj (supervizija, strokovno izpopolnjevanje)

K rešitvam usmerjenega pristopa se hitro naučimo, vendar je potrebno veliko nadaljnjega razvoja za dosego nivoja kompetentnosti. Kandidat v tej rubriki navede kako ohranja stik s prakso ter skrbi za etično in kakovostno izvajanje svojega dela.

  1. Viri in navedena literatura

Za citiranje se uporabi APA standard, kjer se sklicuje na reference.

Želimo vam veliko uspeha pri pripravi vloge. Veselimo se vaših vlog in vas pozdravljamo med kompetentne in razmišljujoče praktike!

Hhrati vas z veseljem obveščamo, da so objavljeni novi datumi za jesenska usposabljanja, ki jih najdete tukaj.

dr A. Biba Rebolj, 2019 za Ribalon in SFP ©

Slovenian Certificate in Solution Focused Practice

What if vs. what is: why Solution Focused approach isn’t about the positive

Dear reader,

nowadays you may come across many tips, strategies and theories that are solution-focused, future oriented and try to emphasise the positive, like:

  • positive affirmations
  • visualisation
  • CBT
  • NLP
  • positive psychology
  • growth mindset
  • etc.

What these approaches all have in common is, that they steer away from looking for what’s wrong and instead focus on the opposite: what’s working, positive, what’s wanted, etc. If taking for example, they are focusing on what if (your life was XXX – insert the preferred term). We have got quite some evidence showing that for instance, expressing gratitude, writing letters of appreciation, practising positivity and the like tasks, bring about fruitful results. And we also have evidence that in many cases these results do not last.

I do not wish to go into the discussion and critique other approaches. But I do wish to draw the line of what makes Solution Focused approach different to other solution and future oriented approaches. So here are a few of my arguments:

  • Solution Focused is not about solutions. It is about the solution context, as Evan George from BRIEF likes to say. Which makes SF not interested in concrete action, steps, which in many cases do not happen for various reasons. It is instead interested in signs. Which are always present, regardless of the action.
  • Solution Focused is about preferred future. It stays close to the description of the client’s future, therefore we do not insert any adjectives such as positive, better, grand, fulfilling, etc. We simply call it “preferred”, which means that our clients define what preferred is. Thus we are not emphasising the positives. Which brings me to:
  • Solution Focused is not about the positive. It is about what is wanted and what is working. For instance, if a client whose partner died tragically in an accident, for such client the term “positive” may not suit, as it is overly ambitious and all in all, not suitable. Still, they may want to find comfort, peace or just time to pause and deal with grief and loss. Many people do not live lives that enable them to even think about positive. This does not mean that they have stopped living, though some of them might have tried to end their lives.
  • Solution Focused has no agenda of what is working. The previously mentioned evidence which shows correlation of certain tasks with desired change, is left aside in SF approach. Simply because it comes from research and thus leaves a possibility that it might not work for our client. Instead, we believe that our clients are capable of designing their own strategies of what is working for them and more, they already have the skills and resources to follow these strategies if they choose to do so. Oddly, SF research shows, that when the practitioner lets go of their own agenda, their willingness to offer useful tips and advice as well as let go of being interested in what clients will do after the session, clients’ progress towards change happens faster. Thus, tasks are not necessary and may even be a burden to change.
  • Solution Focused is not following “fake it till you make it” rule. Yes, it does work with the “what if” concept, but it rather brings it into description of “what is”. Therefore, it does not require effort to pretend the “what if”, instead it invites our clients to notice the “what if” into “what is”. Again, emphasis is on working with concepts and descriptions our clients give us – not what we think they might need or want.

This may sound simple. And it is. There is no grand theory or vast knowledge in the practitioner’s purse and backpack. Instead they come into the conversation as a blank page and try not to read between the lines, either trying to figure out what the client “really” wants and “really” says. But this is far from easy. Whenever I train professionals in SF, they say after trying out a couple of exercises, that this is the hardest part. I couldn’t agree more. And this makes a profound distinction comparing SF to any other approach, even though the core interest and focus may be the same. But SF’s viewpoint and paradigm make it very, very unique. Which in my opinion allows it to be effective with people, who find themselves in all sort of life situations, across cultures and with different levels of motivation or abilities to make change happen.

This autumn, I will be going new places to teach Solution Focused Brief Therapy: Georgia in September, Greece in October and India in December. I cannot wait to meet new professionals, explore SF with them and share my passion.

Biba

IMG_8136

A poster I often use in my trainings. Everybody has preferred future – but it makes a big difference who defines it and how.

She Designed a Life She Loved

Dear reader,

I really like the thought that life doesn’t happen to us. It happens for us. I don’t mean it in a self-centred narcissistic way, but rather as an ongoing invitation for different experience life is and has to offer. Then it is of course up to you how you evaluate this experience, for instance bad, good, joyful, pleasant, rough, painful, exhilarating, etc.

Since I recovered and am able to fully walk again, I enjoy walks differently and do my best to go out for a walk every day. Sometimes with a purpose, like buying pineapple and sometimes without. As I was walking the streets of West London the other day, when we had a longer period of 20+ degree days over Easter, I accidentally ran across a painting.

Visual art has never been my cup of tea, it hasn’t touched me like music does, so it is quite obvious I am not a frequent or a passionate gallery visitor. I can appreciate the efforts of an artist, however am unable to tune into their channel of expression. Never did I think I’d buy any artwork for myself. Until recently.

On my purpose-less walk (or was it?) I was appreciating the sun, enjoying the warm breeze, my walking, friendly faces, colourful markets and playful unleashed dogs. And there it was, this painting. It put down to words what I was thinking, or better said, daydreaming. It said

She Designed a Life She Loved.

Art enriches and stretches our worlds, it puts to words and images the thoughts better than we’d manage without it. An artist offers you ways of thinking and being that are new to you or that speak to what is already there, seeking or provoking your response. Yes, this painting has been an answer to my deliberate creation to design a life I love. So now it is hanging in my London office to remind me every single day of my choices, to answer life’s invitations and translate it into experience that fits the life I would love.

Today I was supposed to fly back to Ljubljana, Slovenia. It was an early morning flight from a quite remote airport, so I decided to catch a late night film at 1am and then have a long walk to Marble Arch from where I’d catch a bus to the airport. All chilled, casual and quite relaxed. Until my bag came out of the security check. I got cold feet, realising I left my passport behind. So there I was, with two hours before my flight, without an ID document which of course, prohibited my boarding.

This is quite a stressful situation with obviously, many practical and emotional implications.

And in the middle of this contrast of having a good night which then escalated into an invitation to not be granted access to fly, I chose to feel good. Not because I would have evidence to justify feeling good or that this time life’s invitation sounded pleasant, no, far from it. Feel good because I want to deliberately embrace full experience life has to offer me and to keep designing the life I love. It all comes down to one single question, which is so important in Solution Focused Practice. If I did X …

what difference would that make for the rest of my day?

So I came back to my London house and not to mention that the entire house found my sudden return quite amusing, I had a good day. Imagine the difference this deliberate decision has made on the way how I thought about what to do next. Which airplane ticket to buy, how to get from the airport asap, how to tell people I promised to meet I am letting them down, etc. It makes a massive difference. So now I have a juicy story. And you have some (hopefully useful) blog.

Biba

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My clients love it. What do you think?

A Patient Cured is a Customer Lost (about ethics in therapy and coaching)

Dear reader,

This came across as I was sipping my morning coffee. In therapy and coaching, there are numerous examples of unethical practices and behaviours. One of them is surely keeping clients in therapy or coaching process longer than necessary and useful for them and sometimes these intentions might be profit driven.

When I deliver trainings in Solution Focused Practice for professionals around the EU and UK, I often tell them that if they want to become rich, they have to change to another modality. SF process is brief and if one is surviving on clients only, one might either become really good at constantly and frequently attracting new clients, or make their living elsewhere (or be unethical, which I will not consider at all atm).

Solution Focused Practice will invite you to think about your preferred future. It will help you describe new ways of living for yourself and might open up new possibilities of a future you consider worth living. It will not tell you what to do and will not provide an explanation of why you haven’t managed to get there yet (or reversed, why you have been in the situation you do not want to be in). The research across cultures, countries and settings shows to have lasting effects comparable to any other type of therapy or coaching, with the difference that you arrive at your desired outcome faster. So why do more, when you can do less? Why spend half of your life in therapy if there are other, faster and lighter options with the same outlooks?

And one more thing re below picture. Therapy and coaching in my modest opinion, are not business services. They should not correlate to one’s ability to pay or afford it. The practitioner should always strive to be brief – not do one session more than what is absolutely necessary. And the “necessity” should always be determined by the client, not your expert opinion. So when the patient feels well, they should not be given extra drugs “just in case” or when the client feels they are able to move on or live their life in the way that is right for them, they should not be imposed another session “just in case”. If they ask for it, that’s a different thing altogether.

So whenever you meet a therapist or coach who will tell you in advance how many sessions it will take, walk away. They have no ways of knowing and their theories are merely theories – they help us think, but not always act.

Some Monday, huh? Wish you a good week ahead,

Biba

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Borrowed from Facebook.

 

Not interested in therapy anymore. I never was.

Dear reader,

It doesn’t interest me if you’ll read this post. What matters is, if it might add to your day so that you can be in alignment with who you are and want to be.

It is not my ambition to collect likes and followers. What really matters to me, is whether we will get to the point of being true to each other and be well off together, or separately.

It hasn’t been of my concern of whether this world will be a better place because of me. As long as it is not worse.

Why do we post on social media? To impact? Impress? Sell? Inform? Show off? Justify our existence? Please don’t, the world is already overly cluttered. What I want is to share with you simple, casual, everyday images and thoughts, no photo filters or editing, not in order to shock or impress or inspire, but simply to share authenticity and an image of real life, not camera-ready or social media cropped. And I am interested in seeing you, for who you are and how you are, not just when things go right but when they go everywhere.

Life is so much better when lived and enjoyed together. So I do care about each and every one of you, whether we have met yet or not, whether we will find a common language, or not.

I just hope that every living being feels comfortable in their shoes/bodies and is brave enough to share their life story as it is, not as the mass media, pressure and competition think it should be. And that every being is left alone, not pressed to be different. We are not competing, we are travelling, changing, expanding. If I can do it, you can do it, everyone can do it. There is nothing special about me or my life. It’s just that I along the way, decided not to strive to be exceptional or an achiever. I allowed to be every-day average and enjoying it. And life unfolded in front of my eyes in ways I could have never imagined, I am thriving and my work calendar is full until July.

Change is constant and inevitable, this is one of the core assumptions in Solution Focused Brief Therapy. Therapy, traditionally, has been viewed as trying to fix what has been broken or to bring people onto the “right” path (again or for the first time). People are not broken. We have had different life experiences which have been offering us lessons over and over again. Sometimes we learn and sometimes we don’t and that’s learning too. But we are never broken, just undone. And once we are done, we’ll probably leave this place and go somewhere else.

So may I be undone with you, haven’t shaved legs or done my nails for weeks and yet I am not sure what I might lack this very moment. Things are changing. And so are we. In this world, sometimes together, sometimes separately, but we are all sharing this Planet so … I care about you. Living being, be it a stone, a river, a fly, cat or dear reader.

With love,

Biba

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There is a fine line between genius and crazy. I like to use that line as a jump rope. Photo D. Hogan, Frankfurt SF Trainers Conference 2019

High Performance Requires High Maintenance

Dear reader,

In the past month I have worked in four different countries on four totally different projects. Not bad, right? So the moment I’ve woken up in my London bed, finally back and with a lazy weekend ahead, I felt the toll – a headache and sore throat. Such differences in temperature, lack of sleep and being overly-adrenaline, sounded like my thing at the time and as it ended, so has my resilience.

It is Women’s Day today. Celebration of femininity for me, which can reside in any kind of body, be it male, female or other gender. It is not about the gender per se, it is much more about the energy, the feminine energy. Feeling, instead of understanding, touching, instead of knowing. There’s nothing more feminine than knowing you deserve to be admired, helped, and adored. So my recent high performance requires high maintenance and lots of gentle, loving female energy. And I am more than happy to step out of male competition for a while.

As such, today I am having a day off. And went to a little place down the road in Shepherd’s Bush in London, to give myself a little treat. Sitting there, I noticed a remarkable link between the woman who was working hard for me and the work I do when I am seeing my clients in therapy or coaching. Both of us are professionals and experts in the processes we do. And both place the expertise on the content of what is desired to the person we are working with.

So here it is, I couldn’t resist making a vlog out of it as the inspiration came, even though I am not camera ready. Hope you enjoy it and wish you all a good, loving weekend ahead!

Biba

The Key to My Heart

Dear reader,

no matter the weather, there will always be a place on Earth with plenty of sunshine. Or thunderstorms, depending on your preference or perspective. Whatever you think of things and events that are happening around you, you are right in version of your own truth.

Life is never easy. It is multifaceted, complex and unpredictable. Yet it doesn’t have to be unnecessarily complicated. I meet many people every day. They share their stories and wisdom. I am lucky to be blessed with a gift of being a wonderful and charismatic trainer/teacher and with the ability to make other people around me feel special. In that sense my work is a combination of what I am good at and passionate about. And sometimes I forget this and then my participants remind me of it. So today I’ll share some of their thoughts. It says a whole lot more about them than it does about me. So have a look at what kind of wonderful people I usually work with:

Biba is a very easy to follow and engage with teacher. I have learned a lot from her knowledge of the SF approach as well as her genuine passion. I think it would be useful for anyone (counsellor, parent, manager, etc.) to experience and practice at least once in their life like this. (Anna)

Working together will inspire, energise and change the way you work, live and think (Luke)

There is a lovely energy about you and an incredible inner strength. (Susana)

There is some mystery about how the process works, it seems. Perhaps that is a good thing as we humans are so hard wired to seek and enjoy mystery.  (Jane)

Thanks so much for this Biba and for the excellent sessions you ran here.  It was great to meet you and I have already tried putting some SF thinking into practice. (James)

I thoroughly enjoyed your energy! You are the real deal! (Chantal)

I like your relaxed, respectful and light-hearted way of being. Of course you will feel sometimes different, but there is always a joy around you. (Annemieke)

Those are not official testimonials, gathered for the purpose of promotion, far from it. They are little messages I got in the past three days alone. And I want to share them with you, because I want to emphasise that having a talent isn’t only a privilege. It is a responsibility and duty too – a duty to use it and give to community. Share your ideas. Share yourself. And then watch the magic happen when you get back to what you give tripled.

Yesterday my magic materialised as a very special key. I got my own pair of keys to BRIEF and I am now ready to start seeing my face to face clients (individuals or families) at BRIEF. Yesterday I saw a mother and her teenage son. So much love and care they have for each other and it was beautiful to watch it surface again. So come and join. Be a part of it. Use your talents. Welcome!

With much love and from life,

Biba

Keys

The Keys to My Heart