I Will Be

Dear reader,

as soon as you learn something new and you grow, you’ll be exposed to tests. The more meaningful your step, the harder these trials will be. And I somehow believe that life gives you challenges which you are somewhat capable to fight or survive.

I was given a huge challenge. I have to say goodbye to my morning runs. Possibly for good. Apparently my body’s been quite heavily damaged without my awareness and it is coming out now.

I can’t tell you what an unpleasant surprise that was. And it has come so far that I have to be taking pain killers in order to sleep properly. I won’t go into details, this is simply for you to illustrate that as soon as you think you might master something, life will send you a challenge to prove it.

So I now have an opportunity to prove that I will be. Strong on my own. If I want other people to believe in miracles, first I have to prove that they are indeed possible. Which reminds me of a beautiful song, 9 years ago, when I did my last ballet performance. I was already out of the ballet world for some years, so was not in a well rehearsed shape, but I did it anyway, because my friends and colleagues were so keen on it. We prepared it as part of a welcome event for freshmen students. This was the last time I was on stage and it probably contributed to my today’s injuries. Wasn’t very happy with the performance, but was very grateful for audience’s warm response. So I’m sharing the video below, even though I don’t like it at all and think I did poorly. But it was my very last performance and today I know that I will never be able to do this again.

Why am I telling you this? While preparing for that performance and doing the choreography, I picked a song which meant a great deal to me back then. It’s Christina Aguilera’s song “I Will Be”. I wanted to give the new students a gift of encouragement together with faith that they will make it at the university. Because when you are in trouble, you need to retain the hope and faith that things will get better. And things will get better.

As the lyrics go:

It comforts me
It keeps me
Alive each day of my life
Always guiding me, providing me
With the hope I desperately need

Well I gotta believe
There’s something out there meant for me
Oh, I’ll get on my knees
Praying I will receive
The courage to grow and the faith to know

So whatever challenges you might be facing at this very moment, have faith that you WILL manage somehow. In fact everything you need is already there. I’ll desperately try to recollect my hope and get better and when I succeed, I’ll share it with you. Hopefully before NY’s, so we could do it together in this training. Which I shall cancel in case I do not manage.

Be strong.

Biba

 

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